


Atrophy Of The Heart

by A_A_Dolan



Category: My Chemical Romance, frerard - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Drama, Frerard, Friendship, Healing, Love, M/M, Paralyzed, Romance, Sad, disabled
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-12
Updated: 2019-12-12
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:14:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 13
Words: 32,992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21765127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_A_Dolan/pseuds/A_A_Dolan
Summary: After a tragic accident that cost the life of his younger brother, Gerard Way survives the crash, but is left completely paralyzed from the waist down. His life comes to a screeching halt and tries to get it back one day at a time...but has no faith or hope in ever walking, again.As Gerard attends physical therapy, he comes across another recovering patient who goes by Frank Iero. They get well acquainted during their sessions together and eventually develop a strong bond; a friendship. At some point, they eventually develop romantic feelings for each other. In time, both Gerard and Frank heal each other.
Relationships: Frank Iero - Relationship, Freard, Gerard Way - Relationship
Comments: 8
Kudos: 35





	1. Crash

It was a beautiful day; the blue skies above were clear, not a single cloud in the sky, and the sun shined brightly. The weather was perfect--not too cold, and not too hot. Just perfect.

"I hope mom makes her famous homemade lasagna." Gerard said as he focused his eyes on the road while Mikey kept trying to find a music station to settle on.

"I have a feeling she'll make roast beef--she always makes that when the whole family gets together, especially when it's a special occasion."

"What's the special occasion...?" Gerard asked his younger brother as he made a face of pure confusion while lowering his eyebrows, almost looking like he was frowning.

"Well...it won't just be us with mom and dad. I also asked Kristin to come by to have dinner with us." That caught Gerard's attention--breaking his focus on the road as he turned his head to look over at Mikey.

"What...? Why?" Mikey then reached his hand into the pocket in his jacket and pulled out a little red heart shaped box.

"I'm going to ask my girlfriend to marry me." Gerard's eyes widened as he put his eyes back to the road, speeding a little now...his heart was racing; beating rapidly, feeling like it was about to burst from his chest.

"Mikey--you and Kristin have only been together for, like, two months...you're kinda rushing it."

"Gee--I'm in love with her. She makes me incredibly happy and I think she's the one."

"Mikey, just listen to me for a sec--"

"Look, just because we haven't been dating forever doesn't mean a thing. When you know you found the one, you just go with it." Gerard rolled his eyes and continued driving. There was a long and uncomfortable silence that lingered for a moment.

"Do mom and dad know about your little plan?"

"No. They know that she's having dinner with us though, so it'll be a huge surprise when I do it." Another long moment of awkward and uncomfortable silence...Gerard wasn't exactly thrilled about Mikey popping the big question to his girlfriend of only two months.

He's met Kristin before, and he thought she seemed nice...but the only thing Gerard didn't exactly care for about her was that Mikey spent more time with her than him. They used to be so close.

"Wanna see the ring?"

"Not really."

"Aw c'mon, I really wanna show you--" Mikey then opened the box and he took out the diamond ring resting inside.

"I want your opinion--"

"Dude, I said no. Put it away."

"Gee, why are you being an asshole...? I just wanna show you the ring--"

"I think you're rushing into this way too fast; at least wait it out a while before you do something stupid." Gerard broke his focus on the road and looked over at Mikey.

Mikey was now frowning at his older brother and he had a look of disbelief on his face before letting out a soft scoff.

"You're un-fucking-believable. I thought you out of all people would be happy for me--"

"Mikey, all I want is for you to be happy. I'm glad Kristin makes you happy, but you two haven't been together all that long and I don't wanna see you get hurt...I think you need to wait and really think about this."

"Gerard, I'm not a fucking kid--I can make my own decisions. I love Kristin and I'm going to ask her to marry me."

"Well, I think you're making a stupid mistake, Mikey."

"Whatever. Can you just look at the ring and tell me what you think?" Mikey kept pushing Gerard into looking at the engagement ring, and Gerard was starting to get aggravated as he continued speeding his car.

"Mikey, quit it--"

"Please just look at it--"

"STOP!" Gerard yelled out as he then smacked the ring out of Mikey's hand--falling somewhere in the backseat of Gerard's car.

"Thanks, asshole!" Mikey said as he unbuckled his seatbelt and climbed in the back, attempting to find the ring.

"I'm just trying to look out for you, you're being extremely impulsive and I don't--" Gerard wasn't paying attention to the road. He couldn't have seen the large truck coming his way...an ear piercing screech of metal on metal collided with Gerard's silver Honda Civic; the car windows shattered around his face with pebble sized shards that bit painfully into Gerard's skin.

The breath was forced from his chest in a whoop and the car began to flip several times--each landing harder than the last. Blood began to pour from a wound in his scalp as his forehead smashed against the stirring wheel mid flip and in that moment all Gerard could think is, 'Where is Mikey?! I can't see Mikey!'

When at last the car came to rest upon its side with a ragged creak, Gerard was barely clinging to consciousness. Despite his steadily dimming vision, his heart pounded in his chest.

Fearfully, he chanced a glance into the back seat. Bile rose in the back of his throat.

"MIKEY!"

He screamed as he tried to reach for his younger brother, who laid still in the back.

Gerard began to fumble for his seat belt becoming quickly aware of a hot numbness spreading through his lower limbs and a licking, piercing pain crawling along his spine.

His shaking fingers finally accomplished their task in freeing himself from the battered seat belt. Gerard turned suddenly to reach for Mikey, who still hadn't made a sound. As he turned, he felt a sharp pain along his back and with that, the remaining strength he had drained from his body and his body went limp as the world went black.

The smell of burning rubber lingered in the air...tire marks from Gerard's car were stained into the black concrete, where huge chunks of the car were scattered along with pieces of broken glass. Ambulances, a fire truck, and police cars arrived minutes after the accident. Gerard was completely unconscious and unresponsive as firemen had to use a hydraulic claw to pry open the car door...paramedics strapped Gerard in a stretcher--he was still alive but unable to breathe on his own. His face was all cut up; bloody and bruised badly--even his eyes were completely swollen.

As for Mikey...he wasn't even breathing when he was pulled out of the car. He was gone.


	2. Awoken

Sitting all alone in an empty white room; no windows or doors to be seen, and it was so quiet...Gerard tried to scream--scream as loud as he could to the top of his lungs, hoping someone would hear him. He was completely mute...his mouth opened and he would try to make a sound, but was unable to. He tried breaking through the piercing plain white walls that surrounded him; never ending and unbreakable--he was going insane being trapped in limbo.

Gerard's body laid motionless and flat on his back on the hospital bed, surrounded by machines that were keeping him alive; helping him breathe, pumping oxygen into his lungs...he's been in a coma for a month after the accident.

His parents came to visit him every single day...it was heartbreaking for the both of them to see their son in that condition. Doctors kept saying they weren't sure if Gerard would ever wake up or not--given how fatal the crash was...but his parents never lost hope as they sat by his side.

His mother would read stories to him, as if he were a small child again; she'd read his favorite childhood stories.

His dad would reminisce about all the memories of both Gerard and Mikey getting into trouble together as kids...how they were always together, no matter what. They were inseparable.

Other times they'd just cry...they'd cry until there were no more tears to shed, and they'd even pray for a sign.

They prayed hard, and they hoped for a change in Gerard's condition...Gerard had needles buried into his skin; buried deep into his veins...from the significant amount of blood he lost, he needed a blood transfusion.

Gerard had to wear a neck brace, and he even needed surgery for his spine...the accident snapped his back bone into two--it damaged all his lower nerves and it left him completely paralyzed from the waist down.

He was still trapped inside his white room; stuck in limbo...Gerard tried finding a way to break through--there was nothing he could find to grab a hold of, and he couldn't stop screaming...even though his voice was mute, Gerard wouldn't stop trying to be heard.

A month had passed; Gerard's condition had changed--he had the neck brace removed, he was able to breathe on his own...all of his injuries had healed, some leaving scars.

He fell to his knees inside the white room where there was complete isolation...tears spilling down his cheeks as he grabbed a hold of both sides of his head; roughly pulling his hair as he began to hit himself, over and over. Gerard was screaming...he wouldn't stop until he was heard...suddenly, there was a single crack that appeared in front of him on the plain white floor.

Gerard noticed the crack...then it spread as more cracks appeared; the cracks were spreading all over the white room...suddenly, the cracks began to make a sound.

The loud crackling sounds echoed all throughout the room.

"...let...me...out...!" Gerard screamed out, still not quite loud enough for himself to hear, though.

The cracks grew bigger and the sounds were louder as the white room was beginning to turn black, from the huge gaps that the cracks were forming.

"...Let...Me...Out...!" Gerard's voice was more audible--he could actually hear himself, though he sounded a bit distorted and distant, leaving an echo of his voice behind. The ground was now rumbling; it felt like an earthquake was forming below him...more cracks spread all around him; now the ceiling, beside him, below him...the cracks were roaring as more darkness began to form inside of the white room.

"...LET...ME...OUT...!" Gerard screamed out, again. He could finally hear himself. The ground rumbled so violently that he could feel his own body shaking along with it...the loud cracks ringed inside of his ears, but he didn't care. He wanted to break free.

"LET ME OUT!" He screamed once more--screaming so loudly that his throat hurt; his voice was raspy and hoarse...then, he woke up.

His eyes twitched before opening up, very slowly...Gerard's vision was very blurry and all he could see was fuzziness and he couldn't hear anything, properly.

Everything sounded distorted and everything was moving in slow motion...Gerard was extremely weak and he kept fluttering his eyelids, trying to clear his vision...his throat was very dry and it hurt to swallow--he was dying of thirst.

"...w-wa-ter..." Gerard managed to croak out, softly.

"...mm...m-mi-key..." All he thought about was his younger brother; he didn't stop thinking about him ever since the accident.

Gerard wondered if Mikey was alright; he wondered where he was...he even wondered why he didn't see him in the white room. 'Where is Mikey? Is he okay? I need to see my brother!' Too many questions running through his mind as he was coming back into reality...his vision was still blurry, but Gerard was beginning to see more clearly with each passing second.

"...M-mi-key...w-where..."

"Gerard--oh, my God--Donald, he's awake!" Gerard was embraced by his mother's hands as she grabbed both sides of her son's face; showering him with kisses as she wrapped her arms around his neck, hugging him very tightly.

"...mom..." Gerard called out to her softly as he slowly wrapped his arms around his mom's shoulders. He could feel her tears soaking into his hospital gown.

"Gerard...thank God you're awake..." His dad said as he walked over to him on the other side, tears forming inside of his eyes.

"...dad..." Gerard called out his dad. They all hugged each other as they shed tears...Gerard was awake, after being gone for a month; trapped in his own hell...all alone.

He was awake...and now that he was fully aware of all of his surroundings, he realized something strange about himself.

Gerard tried moving his legs; tried stretching out his toes until he felt that satisfying crack all throughout his toes, spreading up his legs, and sending that familiar tingle down his spine...but when he tried, he couldn't.

His legs didn't budge. He couldn't feel anything from the waist below.

"...mom...? Dad...? I can't...I can't feel my toes..." At first, Gerard was confused. Then his confusion turned into panic...Gerard kept trying to move his toes; move his feet; move his legs...but he couldn't. Everything from the waist down was completely numb.

"I...I c-can't feel...my legs...dad...? W-what happened...? Mom...? W-why can't I feel my legs...?"

"Hey, hey, sshhh--" Gerard's mom tried to comfort her son as she noticed he was starting to freak out.

"E-everything is numb below my waist...I can't feel anything--I can't feel my legs, my feet, my toes..." Tears were forming inside of Gerard's eyes as his breathing began to grow hard, heavy, and unsteadily.

"Gerard, breathe--"

"Why can't I feel anything...? Why...?" His voice was shaky as the corners of his mouth twitched as his heart began to pound inside of his chest.

"Son--we'll explain everything to you, but you need to calm down..."

"Where is Mikey...? Is he okay? I wanna see him..." Gerard finally blurted out.

Both his parents fell silent as they turned to look at each other. Sadness and devastation stuck on both their faces...Gerard was now hyperventilating as tears spilled down his cheeks.

"Mom...? Dad...? Where is Mikey...?"


	3. Session

Gerard sat in his wheelchair, all alone in his old bedroom at his parent's house. He was completely devastated by the tragic news of Mikey...he didn't even care when he was told that he was completely paralyzed from the waist down. It didn't faze him, in the slightest.

Gerard was in a frozen, catatonic state; barely blinking, staring off into oblivion, not speaking, not eating...he's been like that since he came home from the hospital. He cried until his eyes were red, puffy, and dry; no more tears to shed, but that didn't stop him. Gerard's hair was growing longer and shaggy, and he had facial hair growing on his once smooth and clear face...he didn't care about his appearance or personal hygiene. He just didn't care.

His nights were sleepless; every time Gerard closed his eyes, he remembered the argument he had with Mikey...Gerard remembered every single detail. He could still hear the roaring sounds of large truck crashing against his car; still feel the sharp pieces of glass cut his face--the stinging sensation burning into his skin, feeling like needles poking him...Gerard could still feel the force of the car wreckage all over his body. He could feel the hard blows of his car crashing against the road as it flipped, numerous times.

Gerard moaned softly as he twitched several times in his bed--his face was drenched with sweat as he kept turning his head, side to side.

"...no...mmm...M-mikey..." He could see Mikey's face clearly. He remembers how happy he looked before sharing the news that he was planning on proposing to his girlfriend, Kristin.

Gerard could remember the look change on Mikey's face...how he went from happy to upset, all because he couldn't be happy for him and give him his blessing.

"MIKEY!" The sounds of the car crashing against the truck, the road...it played so clearly inside his mind.

"NO!" Gerard screamed to the top of his lungs as his heavy and exhausted eyes shot wide open; the white parts of his eyes were stained bloodshot red, and the dark bags under his eyes were very visible...he sat up on his bed as he was hyperventilating...his heart was beating so hard and so fast that it hurt his chest.

"Gerard?!" His mom called out to him as she made her way towards his bedroom--pushing the door wide open.

"Mom--I...Mikey...I..." Gerard stuttered over his own words, unable to get them out. His eyes were overflowing with tears and his mom walked over towards him, sat down beside him, and she wrapped her arms around him--pulling him in for a hug. Gerard buried his face in his mother's shoulder as he began to sob, hysterically.

"It's okay, it was just a bad dream...you're okay..."

"M-mom--I saw Mikey..." Gerard choked in between sobs and soft gasps as he tried to breathe. That was the first time his mom had actually heard him speak since he came home...she felt her heart sink and her chest ache as she comforted her crying son, and because she was missing her other son, so much.

Gerard didn't say anything else after that...he just wept in his mother's arms. She hummed softly to Gerard as she gently patted his back; just like when he was a baby, and he'd cry late at night...after he calmed down, he couldn't go back to sleep.

He laid so still on his bed, flat against his back and unable to move his lower half--even though he kept trying.

Gerard hated closing his eyes...he hated seeing Mikey's face...most of all, he hated hearing those god awful sounds.

~

Several weeks had passed since Gerard came home from the hospital; he was the same--he was beyond depression and he constantly needed painkillers because of the burning and unbearable pain he felt in his upper body from the accident. Gerard became somewhat dependent on drugs to help numb away any emotion; mostly, they made him drowsy--but he'd fight off the sleep with caffeine.

He's also been attending physical therapy to try and regain muscle use in his legs...maybe even walk, again.

"Okay--you ready?" One of the attendants asked Gerard as they strapped him in a device that would pull him up from off his wheelchair and onto his feet; the purpose of this exercise was to see if Gerard would be able to put pressure or force onto his feet, and regain the muscle use in his legs.

He just nodded his head slowly, already knowing that it wouldn't work, again. The device started and a low hum came from it as it began to slowly lift Gerard up from his seat...he didn't feel a thing as he was being lifted up, except the tightness and pressure around his waist and under his armpits.

"Okay, now try to do what we've been telling you what to do; try to wake up the muscles in your legs and use your feet to support your weight." Gerard remained quiet as he listened to the attendant's words, a bit annoyed and frustrated with being told to just 'use your legs'--as if it were that simple for him.

He was all the way up and off his chair now...the pressure around him was uncomfortable but he knew complaining about it wouldn't do him any good, so he tried to focus on something else to take his mind off the slight pain he felt in his upper body.

"Grab onto the ropes for support." The young attendant said, he looked about twenty-two--very young, and very cheerful. Gerard sighed softly as he grabbed onto the ropes and felt all his weight from the waist below dangling and his breath already got caught in the back of his throat.

"You're doing great Gerard, your balance is really good! And just, keep focusing on trying to wake up the muscles in your legs." The young attendant kept smiling a rather toothy smile at Gerard; his teeth were perfect--all white and straight, and Gerard was honestly a little creeped out by him...he didn't like cheerful personalities. He never did.

He continued supporting his own heavy weight as he began to feel his forehead dampening with sweat...Gerard grunted softly under his breath as pulled onto the ropes, trying his hardest to use his feet--but he couldn't move them...he couldn't feel them.

"You're doing really well, Gerard."

"I'd be doing better if I was actually walking..." Gerard mumbled, monotoned and unamused, under his breath but the cheerful attendant heard him, loud and clear.

"These things take time. I know it isn't easy, but as long as you keep attending your sessions, you'll be back on your feet in no time."

"Yeah, I'm sure you say that to all the patients here..." Gerard said in a rather rude and sarcastic tone, rolling his eyes as he could feel more tightening pressure around his waist.

"Well...just hang in there while I check on the other patients, okay...?" Gerard offended the young attendant, but he was still smiling as he tried to remain professional and friendly.

As he left to check on the other patients...Gerard's eyes wandered all around the room and watched a few random strangers doing their sessions; some were doing stretches, walking on treadmills, holding onto bars as they tried to walk through a soft mat...a lot of the patients had visible scars on their legs; on their heads; on their arms...some were even amputees and they wore prosthetics.

"You're doing amazing, Frank! It's like you never even got injured!" Gerard turned his head to see his happy-go-lucky attendant assist another patient. The guy he was helping out was a short guy who wore dark gray sweatpants, a black t-shirt of Green Day, and black sketchers. He was doing squats as he held heavy looking weights in both his hands.

"I'm about 95%, but I'm almost completely better." The short guy--Frank, Gerard remembered his name, was quite attractive; medium length shaggy dark hair, clear pale skin, visible tattoos on his neck and bare arms and hands, and he had a nice smile.

"How's your chest?" The attendant asked Frank as Frank did a few more squats before standing himself up straight and stretching out his muscles.

"Good--occasionally aches, but good."

"I see you've been doing your exercises with you laying on your stomach and focusing on your breathing."

"Yup, that I have, Trey." Trey. The cheerful personality had a name. Trey smiled as he ran his hand through his golden blonde hair, slicking it back, and nodding his head with approval as he continued smiling.

"Very good, Frank. I'm super glad to hear you're doing well. Pretty soon, you won't need to come here anymore..."

"Nah, I like it here. I've made some new friends along the way so I'll drop by to visit." Frank said as he smiled at Trey...Gerard didn't realize he was still staring at this Frank fellow.

He got so distracted by staring at this handsome stranger than he lost support of himself as his jello legs gave out and his hands slipped off the ropes...Gerard let out a loud gasp as he felt the rope strapped around his waist begin to squeeze him and he tried to lift himself back up, but his hands were aching and tired holding himself.

Trey paced his way back over to Gerard, helped him up and that's when Frank looked over at the both of them.

"Are you okay, Gerard...?" Gerard immediately noticed Frank staring over at him and he quickly looked away.

"Do you want to take a break? You seem a little distracted..."

"Uh--no...no, I'm fine. I'll try, again."

"Are you sure?" Gerard snuck a quick glance over at Frank again, who was still looking over at him...his eyes were beautiful. They were quite big and bright hazel.

Gerard just responded with a slow head nod and he carried on with the rest of his session. Once he was back in his wheelchair, feeling physically and emotionally drained...Frank, the handsome stranger, approached Gerard; placing his hand down against his shoulder--surprising him as he quickly shot his head up with wide eyes, making direct eye contact with Frank.

"You okay?" He asked him in a friendly manner. Gerard remained silent as he examined his face up close...he was really, really attractive. Cute, in fact. Gerard quickly broke eye contact as he turned his head away--lightly nudging Frank's hand off his shoulder.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to get all touchy..." Frank apologized as he raised his eyebrows and scrunched up his face, feeling a tad awkward, now.

"Look, I just wanted to tell you that it gets worse before getting better. As long as you keep trying, you'll get better. Trust me." His voice was soothing; soft spoken, but firm--a little bit raspy, too. Gerard continued avoiding eye contact with him as he stared down at his hands...his mind now getting lost to the memories of Mikey...of the accident.

"I'll see you around, I guess." Frank said as he lightly patted Gerard's shoulder before he grabbed his red duffle bag and made his way out of the physical therapy room.

Gerard watched him leave...his eyes watered with tears as he lightly scoffed under his breath at what Frank had just told him. Things weren't going to get better...he knew that, now. With Mikey gone, and him being handicapped, things would never be the same. It was all shit, now.


	4. Photograph

Today was the day...he avoided it for so long, but he knew he needed to do it. Gerard's mom drove him over to his and Mikey's apartment...it had been a while since he went home, but he wanted to pick up some fresh clean clothes along with some of his art supplies and sketchbook; anything to do with drawing, coloring, outlining--it was always therapeutic for Gerard. And he was badly in need of an art therapy session.

His eyes stared out the car window of his mom's car as he felt his heart tense up at the familiar turns, streets...Gerard lowered his head once he saw the stores and fast food restaurants both he and Mikey would occasionally go to together. He could hear both himself and his younger brother's laughter wandering around inside of his mind...Gerard closed his eyes as he squeezed his trembling hands together tightly--focusing on his breathing as he could hear the soft laughter begin to fade...leaving inside of his head completely silent, again.

"We're here, Gerard." His mom said as she pulled her car up outside his apartment. He didn't want to look at the building...Gerard froze in the passenger seat and he could already feel his eyes watering up with tears as his hands continued trembling. His mom quickly noticed her son was about to have a panic attack and she grabbed a hold of his hand in her's...Gerard examined every wrinkle, visible blue vein, and even small freckles resting on her skin...he slowly lifted his head up and looked over at his mother.

"It'll be okay, sweetie. I'm here." She spoke so sweetly to Gerard as her lips curled into a small and assuring smile while squeezing his hand...Gerard remembered when she was much younger; so beautiful, so carefree, and so loving.

His heart ached at the realization that she was growing older, along with his father, and he felt immediate guilt for having to stay with them because he is unable to work...his parents are old and they're already in debt because of Gerard's hospital bills and physical therapy sessions.

"...mom?" Gerard finally choked out as his vision blurred with tears overflowing inside of his eyes before running down his face.

"...I'm sorry..." He mumbled as he sniffled loudly, wiping away his tears as more came pouring out of his red and puffy eyes; his long and curly eyelashes soaked, his nose running...his mom softly shushed her son as she unbuckled her seatbelt and moved closer towards Gerard to embrace him in her arms--hugging him tightly while placing sweet and warm kisses all over his face.

Once Gerard had calmed down and stopped crying, his mom helped him bring out his wheelchair from the backseat of the car before she helped him into it. She then proceeded by pushing him into his and Mikey's apartment; luckily for Gerard, their apartment was on the first floor--so it was very wheelchair accessible for him.

Once they were inside...they both froze for a long and silent moment before Gerard's mom gently patted her hands down against his shoulders.

"I'll pack up some clean clothes for you. Grab what you need, okay? Call me if you need any help." And with those words, she left to find his bedroom and find him some clothes.

Gerard sat there for a moment; his mind reminiscing over all the memories with him and Mikey that happened in the apartment...how somedays they'd stay in their pajamas all day long and have video game tournaments that lasted all day long...how sometimes they'd have their dumb little debates about whatever they could think of--which are better, cats or dogs? Which fictional character would win in a fight and why, which type of candy is better--sweet or sour? Gerard lightly chuckled to himself at the memories. He looked over at the couch where they hung out a lot; watching movies or TV shows together...Gerard could clearly see himself sitting there with Mikey...he could hear Mikey's voice, clearly.

He turned his head away, sealed his eyes shut, and inhaled deeply and sharply...he squeezed his hands together as he tried to block out Mikey's voice...trying to block out any memory they shared together. His voice began to slowly fade until Gerard could no longer hear him...he exhaled softly and opened his eyes--not wanting to look back at the couch as he then wheeled his way down the hallway and into his work room.

They lived in the three bedroom, two bathroom apartment; one room belonged to Gerard. The other belonged to Mikey. The third room, they shared--Mikey used it as a hangout room, where he mostly played video games, and Gerard used it for his quiet space to work on his art...he had an expensive art desk all set up; the fanciest and most expensive art equipment he could ever afford...he even had two different sketchbooks that were filled with his drawings and paintings.

One was brown and the top of the pages were golden...it came all the way from Italy. But Gerard's most favorite sketchbook was his black and real leathered one which came all the way from France.

With a little struggle, Gerard managed to reach over for his sketchbooks resting on top of his art desk along with his fancy coloring utensils; colored pencils, charcoal sticks, pastel crayons, markers, paints, and of course, pencils and pens.

Gerard wheeled his way out of his work room...he immediately froze once he was was outside of Mikey's bedroom.

The door was cracked open...Gerard felt his heart begin to quicken as he turned his head to stare into the crack of Mikey's room; because his curiosity got the better of him, Gerard's hand reached out towards the door...he pushed it open--the loud sounds of the door creaking echoed throughout the hallway...he felt an overwhelming amount of emotions as he looked into his brother's room.

Everything was still left the way Mikey had left it; the bed was still undone and somewhat messy...his laundry basket halfway full of his dirty clothes...Gerard wheeled his way inside of Mikey's room. He could smell his scent lingering in the air, and he immediately felt his eyes tear up again as he inhaled Mikey's scent.

"...Mikey..." Gerard mumbled out softly as he felt his chest tense up as it began to ache. He missed his brother so much that there were days he still couldn't believe Mikey was gone...Gerard couldn't except the fact that his little brother was dead. And it was all his fault. Or...so he thought to himself; forever blaming himself for the death of Mikey.

"Fuck...Mikey...I'm so sorry...I'm sorry..." Gerard began to choke out in between sobs that were building up in the back of his throat. He then noticed a framed photograph of them resting on his nightstand.

Gerard wheeled himself towards the photograph...he sniffled softly as he picked up the framed picture. His eyes stared down at the photo of them--it was an older photo; they were hugging each other tightly, their cheeks pressed against each other as they both smiled big silly smiles...Gerard whimpered out loudly as tears dropped onto the glass...he brought the framed photograph close to his chest.

"Mikey--I'm sorry...I'm so sorry for what I did..." He spoke very softly to himself as he lightly squeezed onto the photograph--practically hugging it as he began to sob.

"It's all my fault...my fault...you died because of me..." Gerard kept mumbling to himself as more tears ran down his cheeks, dripping off his chin...his upper body trembled as he wept, and he began to breathe hard and heavily as he shook his head no, slowly.

"Please forgive me, Mikey...please know I'm sorry...I'm sorry..." Gerard continued hugging the photo in his arms and close to his chest as he replayed the memory of the crash; their last conversation together--a heated argument...he shouldn't have disapproved of Mikey's plan to propose to Kristin. He shouldn't have smacked the engagement ring out of Mikey's hand...Gerard should have just been happy and gave his brother his blessing.

"NO!" Gerard then screamed to the top of his lungs as he chucked the frame clear across the room from behind his shoulder--making the glass shatter loudly against the drywall as Gerard began to aggressively hit himself in his head; pulling his hair while mumbling horrible things to himself as he continued sobbing loudly.

"I'M SO FUCKING SORRY!" Gerard screamed again as he began to rock himself back and forth, still hurting himself as he pulled and yanked at his long and messy hair...he cursed at himself as he then threw his sketchbooks and art supplies to the floor.

"It should have been me--I should have died, not you...you were so young...it's my fault...IT'S ALL MY FAULT!" He screamed once more before he realized he had fallen out of his wheelchair.

A loud crash echoed all throughout Mikey's bedroom, and down the hallway...he was sure his mom heard all the commotion as she came pacing over to the sounds.

"Gerard--what's going on!?" She asked in a very scared and worried tone, finding her son laying flat on his belly against the floor.

"Oh Gerard--" She quickly made her way over to him, kneeled down to his level as she brought him into her arms.

"It's my fault--mom, Mikey is dead because of me! I killed him!" Gerard was hysterical; all red in the face as more and more tears were escaping his eyes--his cheeks soaking wet.

"Gerard, honey--" His mom tried to calm him down as she soothed him by holding him tightly against her, shushing him, and even stroking his messy long hair.

"Mom--I'm so sorry...I'm sorry I killed him..."

"Gerard, you didn't kill your brother--what happened to Mikey wasn't your fault..."

"I miss him mommy, I fucking miss him so much..." Gerard whimpered out in between gasps as he cried his eyes out.

"I miss him too, baby...we all miss Mikey so much...what happened to him wasn't your fault..." She was crying now, too. But she tried to be strong for her son, who clearly wasn't...she just held him as he cried.

"Honey, you can't keep doing this to yourself...you can't keep blaming yourself for what happened." Gerard remained silent as he listened to his mom speak.

"Things are hard right now, for all of us...we lost Mikey, but your dad and I are so grateful to still have you. We still have one son, left." She continued gently stroking his hair, moving it away from his face and behind his ears...Gerard stopped crying, but he was still very upset.

"Come on, let's get you up, in your chair, and go home..." She spoke soothingly to him as she placed a soft kiss on the back of his head.

She helped him up in his chair, gathered up his sketchbooks and art supplies, grabbed onto Gerard's clean clothes along with his hairbrush and toothbrush, and she wheeled him out of the apartment and back to her car.

For the rest of the day, Gerard was quiet. He didn't speak another word as he stared into oblivion...his puffy and red eyes were irritated and dry...all he could think about was Mikey. He really did hope that whenever Mikey was, he'd forgive him. Gerard hoped that his little brother wasn't mad at him...he hoped Mikey forgave him.


	5. Step

Gerard didn't participate in any activities or exercises during his physical therapy session that day...he wasn't feeling it, at all. His dad dropped him off still, but Gerard was completely focused on some drawings he was working on in his black French sketchbook.

He drew whatever came to mind; people, animals, flowers, monsters, landscapes...anything.

"You know the whole point of physical therapy is to, you know, do something physical." Frank, the handsome stranger grinned over at Gerard as he did some stretches before grabbing one of the jump ropes off the shelf and began to do his jumping exercise.

"I am. Using my hand." Gerard responded in a rather sarcastic tone as he raised his hand up in the air, wiggling it around before bringing it back to his sketchbook.

"I don't think its your upper body that needs the exercise." Gerard rolled his eyes as he lifted his head up from his doodles and looked over at Frank.

The short and tattooed man gave him another grin; this time he was showing off his teeth as he was jumping--his face glistened with sweat.

"Look, why don't you mind your own business and leave me alone?"

"Meeeooow! The cat scratches!" Frank then let out a playful hiss as he let out a chuckle, still doing his jump roping exercise before finishing and going onto another different exercise.

"Just leave me be, okay? I don't feel like doing any stupid exercises today." Gerard blurted out to him before lowering his head back down, giving his full attention to his drawings.

"Whatcha drawing?" And before Gerard could even respond, his sketchbook was snatched right off his lap--several of his coloring utensils fell onto the floor, scattering all around him and Frank.

"What the hell!?" Gerard yelled out as he tried to bend over in his wheelchair and pick up his pencil and colored pencils.

"Oh shit, I'm sorry--" Frank said as he placed Gerard's sketchbook down and kneeled down to pick up his art supplies.

"Didn't your mother ever fucking teach you manners? It's rude to just grab people's things without asking..." Gerard was frowning at Frank as he shook his head I'm disbelief.

"I said I was sorry, no need to bite my head off..." Frank mumbled as he handed Gerard all of his art utensils.

"Don't do that again, ever." Gerard's tone was angry, serious, and very firm. Frank looked over at him with a slight frown resting on his face; his big hazel eyes looked sad, almost like a puppy that just got lectured at. Gerard immediately felt bad, but he remained silent.

As Frank grabbed a hold of Gerard's sketchbook, he examined all the doodles he had scribbled onto the white blank paper--bringing it to life with his creations; all detailed and colored out.

"Wow...holy fuck, you drew this...?" Frank's eyes grew wider as they were glued to Gerard's artwork. His mouth hung open slightly like a curious child as he then began to turn the pages, revealing more old work of Gerard's.

"Hey, give it back--"

"Dude, these are really good! Really, really amazing!" Frank said with an excited and delightful tone while still examining the drawings...Gerard blushed in embarrassment as he bent over in his wheelchair again and managed to snatch his sketchbook out of Frank's hands.

"You don't listen, do you?" Gerard was still frowning as he quickly closed his sketchbook, and his cheeks were still flushed crimson red.

"I'm a scorpio, it's in my nature to be stubborn."

"Ah, does that explain the scorpion tattoo right there on your neck?" Gerard asked as he pointed his index finger directly at Frank's scorpion tattoo on the right side of his neck.

"Yup, sure does." Frank smiled over at Gerard, trying to lighten the mood, but Gerard rolled his eyes and let out a loud sigh as he then ran his hand through his long and messy hair--slicking it back.

"You're really talented--uh...whatever you go by." That was Frank's hint that he didn't know his name, at all.

"There are better artists out there...these are pretty mediocre." Gerard said with a shrug as he lightly tapped his growing fingernails down against his sketchbook; making repetitive soft ticking sounds.

"Bullshit--those were the best drawings I've ever seen! You're really good."

"God, shut up Frank--I get it!" Gerard blurted out as the heat coming from his face began to spread down his neck...Frank couldn't help but grin while raising an eyebrow, noticing the blush from Gerard's cheeks spread to his pixie shaped nose and to his ears.

"You know my name?"

"...I...I heard one of the assistants, Trey, called out your name. So, yes, I know your name..." Frank then stood himself up and he moved a little closer towards Gerard--holding out his hand to him.

"Well, my name is Frank. Frank Anthony Thomas Iero, Jr." Gerard stared up at Frank, then looked down at his hand...his heart was racing and he looked up at Frank again, who smiled down at him as he patiently waited for his handshake.

"Nice to meet you, Frank. Officially." Gerard said as he placed his hand in Frank's and they shook on it.

"Are you ever going to tell me your name?" Frank asked as he chuckled.

"...Gerard. My name is Gerard Arthur Way..." The handsome, hazel eyed, and tattooed man's smile grew bigger and wider--showing off his perfectly straight and bright teeth.

"Gerard?" Frank repeated his name. He just nodded his head in response...not saying anything more.

"I like it. Your name is cool." Gerard bit down on his bottom lip as he then realized he was still holding Frank's hand in his. His entire face turned bright red as he quickly pulled his hand away from Frank's, and he lowered his head in embarrassment.

"You have a really pretty face, by the way."

"...what...?"

"Your face. It's pretty. You're pretty." Frank said as he playfully poked his finger against Gerard's soft and warm cheek, making him frown as he cleared his throat loudly and Frank chuckled and loved that Gerard was blushing because of him.

"I'm guessing you're not used to compliments?" Gerard remained silent as he went back to staring down at his hands; his fingers twitching as they intertwined with one another.

"Come on--let's get you ready."

"Huh...?"

"You're going to do an exercise." Frank then walked behind Gerard's wheelchair and began pushing him towards the parallel bars, where the same devices with the ropes dangling from it was placed.

"Frank--stop..."

"Hmm-let me think about it. Nope." Frank had Gerard in front of the parallel bars, and he got the rope straps device ready for him.

"Please stop--I don't wanna do this..." The device was now ready and Frank began to put the ropes around Gerard's waist and underneath his armpits.

"Dude--quit it!" Gerard said as he struggled a bit, trying to get out of the ropes.

"You need to try, Gerard--you won't get any better by just sitting there feeling sorry for yourself. Come on, just try."

"I don't want to, I'm in no mood."

"I don't care, you're going to do this exercise. You're going to take a step." Gerard scoffed loudly as he rolled his eyes and frowned up and over at Frank--who was now starting up the device, and it began to slowly lift Gerard up from his wheelchair.

He felt that familiar tightness and pressure around his waist and under his armpits...he let out a soft grunt as it brought him to his feet, now. The sound of the device humming lowly was a sound that Gerard was beginning to hate.

"Okay, now I'm going to bring you over towards the rails; grab onto them, and try to focus on balancing yourself and the weight on your hands and arms...then, just breathe."

"Frank...I'm fucking paralyzed from waist down...I can't take a step, even if I wanted to.

"I was in your shoes once, you know."

"Oh, were you paralyzed too?"

"No, but I was bound to a wheelchair for a long while before I learned how to walk, again." Gerard frowned, but he remained silent.

"Grab a hold of the rails." Frank instructed for Gerard to do. He didn't feel much like arguing so he obeyed and placed his hands down against the rails...lightly squeezing onto them as he felt his dead weight from below begin to drag on his upper body; pulling on him as he exhaled sharply.

"Breathe Gerard--take a deep breath in, focus on your breathing first, and then focus on your legs."

"...Frank--can't do it..." Gerard choked out, his voice slightly strained, and his face already turning bright red.

"Not with that attitude you can't...give it a try. Breathe--focus on that, and then talk to your leg muscles."

"...what?" Gerard choked out as he turned to look at Frank, who was standing behind him. They made direct eye contact; green eyes interlocked with hazel.

"Trust me. Talk to the muscles in your legs...once you're completely focused and ready--tell your brain to tell the muscles in your legs to wake up. Tell them to put feeling in your legs."

"...that...isn't how it works..." Frank then let out a soft sigh as he moved away from behind Gerard and made his way to facing in front of him.

"I know it sounds dumb, but it works. It worked for me." Gerard could feel himself blushing again as he examined how incredibly attractive Frank was...how he was covered in so many tattoos and yet, they suited him--like a rare piece of fine art. Gerard even noticed that Frank had a thick and visible scar right on his left eyebrow...he hadn't noticed it before because he was always avoiding eye contact with Frank.

"Close your eyes."

"...why?"

"Just close them." Gerard hesitated again, but then he closed them--still gripping onto the rails.

"Now breathe, and focus on that." He listened to his voice as he took a deep inhale in--holding his breath for a long moment before exhaling.

"Listen to my voice...now...focus on your legs. Tell the muscles in your legs to wake up." Gerard kept his eyes closed as he focused on his breathing. He listened to Frank's voice as he tightened his grip on the rails...his heart was racing now and his chest felt like it was tightening up as he took another deep breath.

"Tell your brain to tell the muscles in your legs to wake up; you are in control of your own body, Gerard..." Exhaling out once more as he did as Frank instructed for him go do.

He mentally told his leg muscles to wake up...to work...anything. The weight grew heavier with each passing second--but Gerard continued focusing on both his breathing and trying to wake up his legs.

It felt as if a sudden jolt of lightning had struck his leg muscles and suddenly Gerard actually felt a tingle...his legs felt like they were asleep for a long time; getting that burning and uncomfortable sensation building up--pain or not, Gerard actually felt them.

And with that...Gerard managed to take one step. It was a baby step, but he did it...his eyes shot open at the feeling; the realization of what he had accomplished...Frank smiled at him, a big and wide smile.

The moment only lasted for a moment, and Gerard's legs went back to feeling like jello as he lost all feeling in them completely, again. They gave out and he ended up hanging on by the support of the straps around him...Frank immediately came to his rescue and grabbed a hold of him in his arms.

"Holy fucking shit! Gerard, you did it! You took a fucking step!" Frank's voice was very loud and high, his smile was all teeth and he pulled Gerard in for a tight hug, feeling very proud of him.

"...I...I did it..." Gerard was even surprised and amazed by what he had done.

"I knew you could do it! I'm so fucking proud of you!" His smile was too precious for words and it brought out more of the green in Frank's big hazel eyes...Gerard couldn't help but smile a small and real smile back at Frank.

His cheeks were still flushed bright red, but he didn't care because he felt so...happy.

He had taken a step. He felt the muscles in his legs...Gerard actually felt hopeful. And he wouldn't have done it without Frank's encouragement and motivation to get him going.

"That was amazing to watch!"

"...that was amazing to...to feel." Gerard felt tears forming inside of his eyes, still amazed by him taking a step...what he wouldn't do to gain that feeling back in his legs; to stand on his two feet...to walk...to run. To even dance.

Frank hugged Gerard once more, lightly patting his back before rubbing his hand against Gerard's back--rubbing it in a slow and circular motion.

Then, without hesitation, Frank leaned forward and he placed a quick and soft peck against Gerard's cheek...his facial hair and scruff tickled Frank's lips and the tip of his nose, making him giggle softly.

Gerard left physical therapy smiling and feeling extremely hopeful...he stayed up late that night sketching up doodles of Frank.

In fact, he covered up a few pages with drawings of Frank. Gerard actually had a reason to get excited now to attended his physical therapy sessions...he had a reason to be hopeful because he managed to take a first step. Maybe in time...he'd actually walk, again. He liked to believe he'd have full use of his legs, again.


	6. Celebration

He woke up that morning feeling different; the pit of his stomach was warm and it felt like he had butterflies inside...he couldn't stop smiling to himself as he looked through the sketches he drew of Frank. He did his best to capture every detail just right--from the scar on his eyebrow, to his tattoos (he had so many of them), and to his smile...Gerard couldn't stop thinking about Frank's smile. He couldn't stop thinking about how it made him feel; was it attraction? Was it romance? Or was it just pure happiness...? Either way, Gerard loved the feeling and he didn't want it to ever end.

Because of what happened the last time he went to physical therapy; taking that baby step and actually feeling something in his legs...Gerard actually wanted to go to his session--to see Frank, and to see if he could feel his legs again and maybe even take another step...he was a little bit doubtful, but he could only dream.

As he finally combed his long hair that now touched his shoulders, even trimmed up his facial hair (not shaving it all completely), brushing his teeth, and even changing into a nice clean shirt, he was ready.

Gerard wheeled himself out of his bedroom, looking for either his mom or dad to let them know he was ready for physical therapy...he found them both sitting at the dining table, both whispering very softly to one another while gripping onto their mugs of coffee.

"Mom? Dad?" Gerard called out to them, catching their attention; his mom had a saddened look in her eyes but she still managed to smile over at her son.

"I'm ready to go to my session..." Gerard could tell something was wrong, but he didn't know what. Both parents looked over at one another, not saying a word, and they looked over at Gerard.

"Gerard...do you know that today is?" His dad asked him, and his mom lowered her head...staring at the steam coming off her coffee.

"...am I supposed to...?" Gerard hasn't been keeping track of the days; the weeks; the months even...everyday has been a blur to him ever since the accident.

"Son...it's September 10th. Today is Mikey's birthday..." Gerard completely froze. His good mood had faded as he let out a soft sigh while lowering his head...he had felt guilty for two reasons. The first reason was because he was in a good mood after being cold, distant, depressed, and completely miserable for a long while; pushing away his parents, his friends, everyone in his entire life really. The second reason was because he had forgotten Mikey's birthday.

Gerard sat in complete and utter silence as he tried fighting back any tears that were to be shed...he didn't want to cry--especially not in front of his parents.

"We wanted to do something special for Mikey today; to celebrate his birthday even though he's no longer with us...as a way to remember him." Gerard heard his mom speak, but he was back in that state; frozen, catatonic, and blank. He said nothing.

"Your dad and I are going to the store to get some things for Mikey's birthday. We wanted to buy him some flowers and balloons to take to his grave...and I thought I'd bake his favorite cake. Lemon pound cake." Gerard remembered all the years his mom would either bake or buy a lemon pound cake for Mikey on his birthday. He used to think it was weird that out of all the different flavors to love--Mikey was obsessed with lemon. The memories of Mikey growing older each year as he blew out the number of candles; piling more and more...the image of Mikey smiling and giggling as a small child while they all sang happy birthday to him, and how he always had that same reaction even as he grew older...Gerard missed that. And knowing that this was going to be the very first birthday without his little brother there to blow out his candles...it stung his heart.

They all went to the nearest grocery store and began their search for flowers and balloons. While Gerard's mom went to find the ingredients for Mikey's birthday cake, he was helping his dad pick out some balloons and flowers to bring to Mikey's grave.

"I think he'd like these flowers. What do you think?" His dad asked him while examining a small bouquet of white and yellow daisies.

Gerard lifted up his head and caught a quick glimpse of them before he looked back down at his hands again; tugging at the dead skin hanging off his fingers...his eyes glistened with tears that he continued holding back...he felt like he was on the verge of breaking down.

"Gerard? Do you think these flowers are nice?" His dad asked him once more as he tried showing him the bouquet. Gerard shrugged his shoulders as he remained silent...his dad took the hint and he didn't ask him again. After they picked out some flowers and balloons, Gerard and his dad were looking for their mom.

As Gerard wheeled himself down the isles...he recognized a familiar face. He could recognize his enormous hazel eyes and handsome face anywhere...Gerard immediately felt his heart race as he tried wheeling himself away and out of his sight.

"Son, son--slow down, I'm not as young as I once was--"

"I just wanna go." Gerard blurted out as he continued wheeling himself as fast as he could--hoping to find his mom. Just then, he was grabbed from behind by the handles of his wheelchair.

"Dad, c'mon..."

"Uhh--I'm not your dad." Gerard froze at the sound of Frank's low and somewhat raspy voice talking into his ear...he could feel goosebumps appear on his skin.

"...why aren't you at physical therapy...?"

"I already went, but this session was short because I'm getting better and don't really need a long session like I used to." Frank explained as he turned Gerard around to face him in his wheelchair. They made direct eye contact with one another and Gerard immediately looked away, blushing in embarrassment...Frank couldn't help but smile to himself.

"Hi." Frank said to Gerard. He remained quiet as he bit down on his tongue and continued fumbling around with his fingers...Frank then kneeled down to Gerard's level and lightly cupped his chin, making him look at him.

"Earth to Gerard, I said hi." Frank said, still smiling over at him.

"...hi." Gerard responded. Just then, Gerard's dad caught up with him, and just as he did, so did his mom with the ingredients for the cake.

"Oh, hello there--are you a friend of Gerard's?" His mom asked Frank as he approached him with a small and friendly smile on his face. Frank looked up at Gerard's mother, still smiling, and he held out his hand to her--being quite the gentleman.

"I'm Frank Iero, an acquaintance of Gerard's. We attend the same physical therapy place; even had a few sessions together." They exchanged handshakes and Gerard just held his head down and he felt very uncomfortable.

"So nice to meet you Frank, Gerard didn't tell us he made a friend."

"Like I said, we're more of acquaintances. Is it someone's birthday today?" Frank asked once he noticed the flowers, the balloons, and the cake ingredients.

"Yes, it is."

"Is it Gerard's?" Frank asked as he looked down at him. Gerard looked up at him again--but only for a moment, only to look away again and blush even redder than before.

Everyone fell silent for a brief moment...exchanging saddened looks at one another, and Frank looked uncomfortable as he stood there awkwardly, waiting for a response from anyone.

"No, it's his brother's." His dad finally answered, breaking the awkward and uncomfortable silence.

"You didn't tell me you have a brother! Where is he? I'd like to meet him." Everyone got quiet again and Frank's eyebrows lowered as he gave everyone a look of confusion, again.

"Its...a long story..." Gerard's mom spoke very softly, trying to keep everything lighthearted and positive as she even managed to put on a smile.

"Uh...okay. Well, that explains why I didn't see Gee in session today--you should have seen him last time, he did so well!" Gerard shot his head up and gave Frank the most serious look ever; his eyes wide, his mouth practically a perfect straight line, and his eyebrows were low--he looked like he was frowning.

"Oh? How so? He never tells us how his sessions go."

"Gerard took a step. He actually took a step!" Frank announced to Gerard's parents with a look of pure joy on his handsome face, even his cheeks were a bright pink color and Gerard immediately sealed his eyes shut before he lowered his head again, running his hand through his hair.

"...what?" His mom said as she turned to look down at her son.

"Are you sure...?" His dad asked Frank.

"Oh yeah, definitely. I was helping him and I saw it with my own eyes; Gee told me he felt his legs, only for a moment, but he felt them and he managed to take a baby step."

"Oh, my God--he actually walked...?"

"Like I said, Mrs. Way--only for a moment, but he did." Gerard lifted his head back up and shot another death glare directly at Frank...his face was all red out of pure anger, his breathing became hard and heavy...even both his hands balled up into fists on his lap.

"Son, why didn't you tell us?"

"Oh honey, this is such great news!" He could see the smiles on both his parent's faces, along with Frank's. Gerard was incredibly upset and if he could, he'd kick Frank right in the shin.

"I can't believe you didn't tell them Gee, I thought for sure you'd tell them the good news." Frank was so happy; so optimistic; so...jolly. Gerard hated it and it made him even madder.

"I didn't tell them because I didn't want them to make a huge fucking deal about it." Gerard spat at Frank, quickly making his smile shrink into a half grin mixed with a small frown as his eyebrows lowered.

"Gerard--" His mom spoke softly.

"I took a stupid step, but I'm still fucking paralyzed from the waist down--I didn't want my parents getting their hopes up for me about walking again because I still doubt I ever will. Do you ever keep to yourself, Frank? I mean really, do you ever stop and use that fucking brain of yours?" His words were harsh and cold...Frank's smile completely faded from his face and his frown had turned into a mixture of embarrassment and sadness...his lips pouted and he bit down on his bottom lip as he contained the tears already forming in his big hazel eyes.

"Gerard Arthur Way, I didn't raise you to talk to people that way! Apologize now!" His mom scolded him with a frown on her face. His dad looked more disappointed than angry, but he said nothing.

"No, I'm serious! Don't you ever stop and actually fucking think before you open your goddamn mouth!? What goes on in my life is NONE of your business." One more sting for Frank.

"That is enough--I will not deal with this today, do you understand me?" Her voice was raised and people were turning their heads to look over at them...they were causing a scene and Gerard was practically having a full mental breakdown in a store in front of everyone.

"Apologize. Now." Gerard felt like a child...he was embarrassed and angry, and he couldn't stop giving Frank the death glare as he continued panting, hard. He snapped back into reality as his mom smacked the back of his head--rather hard, too.

"Apologize now, Gerard." He didn't. Instead, he continued staring up at Frank while biting his tongue, and Frank ended up breaking eye contact with him.

"...please excuse me, but I should get going..."

"I'm so sorry for my son's behavior...I don't know what's gotten into him today. Please excuse him, and join us for dinner?" Frank's eyes were glistened with tears but he held them back as he forced a friendly and small smile at Gerard's mom. He shook his head no in response as he thanked her for her offer and excused himself from them.

His parents were very angry with his behavior and his harsh words, but they said nothing to him. Gerard sat completely still and was quiet in the backseat of his dad's car as they drove their way to the cemetery to pay a visit to Mikey.

"We're here." His dad spoke firmly. Gerard said nothing as he stared down at his hands that were resting on his lap...he was frozen.

"Stay here or come with us, I don't really care right now because I am furious with you...I understand you're hurting, but you will not act like this today. Not on Mikey's birthday. Is that understood?" His dad spat at him...his mom wiping away her tears as she remained silent. Gerard decided to stay in the car...he couldn't handle seeing Mikey's grave...he just couldn't.

His parents left the car and his sight...and Gerard cried to himself as he thought about Mikey; thought about his birthday; thought about how incredibly rude he was being on Mikey's birthday...and most of all, Gerard thought about Frank. How cruel and cold he was to him...he hated himself a little more.

After his mom and dad visited Mikey; left him his balloons and his flowers, they came back home. They prepared Mikey's favorite dinner that night along with baking his cake...Gerard drowned out their conversation about Mikey. He wouldn't touch his food...he wasn't hungry.

Gerard watched his mom put the finishing touches on Mikey's cake...smelling the lemon and the buttercream icing made his mouth water, but he wouldn't dare touch it...he didn't deserve to.

"Care to sing happy birthday with us...?" Gerard shook his head no as the tears were coming back.

"Gerard, please...it won't be the same without you."

"No."

"But it's your brother's birthday--"

"Don't you think I already fucking know that?" Gerard snapped at his mom, startling her as she jumped in her seat, her husband grabbing a hold of her hand as he tried comforting her.

"Gerard--"

"You think celebrating his birthday is going to fix things...? You think baking his favorite cake will make everything all happy and special...? Mikey is dead. Do you understand that? He is gone. All because of me--" Gerard was crying now as he pointed his own finger at himself; pressing it hard against his chest...his mom was crying as she covered her face with her hand. His dad was frowning at him as he tried calming her down.

"Stop it, now."

"It's the truth--"

"I don't care, I said that is enough!"

"MIKEY IS DEAD! I FUCKING KILLED MY LITTLE BROTHER!" Gerard screamed to the top of his lungs...his scream echoed all throughout the house...his mom was getting hysterical.

"What is the fucking point of celebrating today!? Mikey is gone and this day means nothing without him! I fucking killed him--he's dead because of me..." Gerard was sobbing as he slammed his hands against the table; the loud and echoing sounds of the plates and the silverware cluttering startled both his parents...his dad then stood up from his seat and was furious with Gerard.

"I SAID STOP IT!"

"I SHOULD HAVE DIED--IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME AND NOT MIKEY!" His dad didn't hesitate to slap him across his face. Hard.

"YOU ARE OUR SON AND WE LOVE YOU!" Gerard felt the sting on his left cheek...and more tears spilled down his cheeks as he looked up at his dad.

"You are incredibly selfish for thinking such horrible thoughts...we lost one son, we don't want to lose another--"

"I'm sorry I'm the son that fucking lived. I don't want to celebrate Mikey's birthday because there is no point--I should have died, not him. I'm alive, but I'm fucking useless; look at me! I can't walk, I can't work...I should have died. I'm sorry I killed your son." Gerard then wheeled himself away from the dining table, away from his parents sight, and into his bedroom. He slammed the door and he began to sob hysterically as he began to grab anything near him and toss it across his room; his clothes, his alarm clock, his phone, his art supplies...anything. He grabbed a hold of his sketchbook and began to rip out the pages of sketches he drew of Frank...he ripped them to shreds. Except one. He kept the one he drew of Frank's smile...his smile warmed his heart...instead, he threw his sketchbook against the wall.

Gerard was screaming, cursing loudly, hitting himself in his head, pulling his own hair--literally beating himself up...he was crying hard and blaming himself over and over for Mikey; he even apologized to him in spirit and he couldn't stop seeing the crash replay in his head. Gerard could hear all the sounds...all the screams...he could feel it all throughout his body; it stung like a million sharp needles and he wanted to numb the pain. He wanted to numb everything. He wheeled his way over to the painkillers that were resting on his nightstand and he poured out a handful--downing them in a single swallow as if they were candy; the bitter taste of them on his tongue...Gerard sealed his eyes shut as he felt the pills go down his throat--very rough and his throat as dry...but he managed to swallow them.

The pills kicked in quickly. His vision blurred; everything moved in slow motion, his hearing was all distorted...he felt his upper body go limp and he stumbled out of his wheelchair...struggling to climb his dead weight onto his bed...he clutched at his blankets, using them like a rope, and he managed to climb himself on his bed...he laid flat on his stomach as he let the pills kick in--take over all of him. His eyes grew heavy and he could feel his heart pounding...before he passed out completely, Gerard could see something in the corner of his eye, standing at the end of his bed.

Someone. He looked familiar...very familiar. In fact, Gerard knew who the random man standing by the end of his bed was...he was sure of it.

"...mm...M-mikey...?" He called out softly, his voice muffled against his pillow. The familiar and blurry figure continued staring at him...saying nothing.

"...mikey..." Gerard reached his trembling hand over at him...his eyes gave out and he immediately fell into a deep slumber, wondering if what he saw was a hallucination; wondering if it was a dream...or was he really there...? As a ghost? As an angel...? Whatever he was, Gerard knew what he saw. He saw Mikey.


	7. Healing

The sunlight that shined through the tiny window in Gerard's bedroom had shined right in his eyes and he could feel the warmth against his skin...letting out a soft groan as his heavy eyelids fluttered before opening slowly...his eyes squinted as he blocked the bright and warm light with his hand.

He laid in the same position on his bed all night; flat against his belly, and his face buried in his pillow...he let out another groan as he slowly lifted up his head--felt heavier than a boulder, and his head was pounding. His vision was still blurry, but he could see everything around him...he immediately saw the mess and the minor destruction he made in his room last night.

As he woke himself up more, once he managed to get himself off his bed and into his wheelchair, Gerard began to try and clean up some of the mess he had made; thankfully it wasn't anything he couldn't handle, but he did annoy himself when there were certain items he simply couldn't reach without falling out of his wheelchair...he did it to himself though, and didn't complain. After he got enough cleaned up--after debating whether or not he should leave his room or stay in there all day...honestly, he was scared of how his parents would react to his presence; his dad screamed at him last night after Gerard decided to cause the biggest scene at the worse of times...he hated himself for acting the way he did and saying the things he said...especially on Mikey's birthday. He didn't want to be a coward and stay cooped up in his room all day, so Gerard gathered up enough courage and left his room...he wheeled his way down the hallway, leading him to the living room...it was really quiet and still dark; the window curtains weren't open and they usually are early in the morning, but last time Gerard checked the time--it was almost noon.

"...hello? Mom? Dad?" Gerard called out softly as he wheeled over towards the kitchen/dining room area...he found his dad sitting alone at the dining table; the table had old photos of both Gerard and Mikey scattered all throughout it. His dad looked exhausted--his eyes were red and puffy, and the dark bags under his eyes were noticeable...Gerard stared at him for a moment...and his dad noticed him.

"...dad..." He called out softly. Gerard remained silent as he slowly wheeled his way over towards him.

"Are you okay...?"

"...are you?" His dad asked him as he looked back down at the photos of his sons that were laid out in front of him. Gerard swallowed his own saliva before he began to apologize...he was now beside him. He looked down at the photos too; the old photos of both himself and Mikey made him smile a small smile to himself...but then he felt pain in his heart.

"Dad...I'm sorry. I didn't mean--"

"Do you remember this photo...?" His dad suddenly asked him as he picked up one of the photographs; it was very old, from when they were really small...Gerard had his arm wrapped around Mikey's shoulder, and they were smiling at each other. Gerard shook his head no as he examined the photo.

"It was your birthday...you were turning five. Mikey was only two--almost three. You had blown out your candles already and your mother and I asked you if you made a wish...you said no. We were surprised because everyone usually made a wish, especially on their birthdays. But not you. We asked you why and you know what you told us...?" Tears were already spilling down his cheeks and he wiped them away as he smiled down at the photo. Gerard looked at his dad as he remained silent--listening to what his father had to say.

"You said that you didn't make a wish because your wish had already come true. You told us that you always wanted a baby brother; you wanted one so badly that you wished for one...when Mikey was born, you told your mother and I that he was all you needed. That you didn't need to make anymore wishes." Gerard's face twisted into a frown as he began to sob softly...his body was shaking as he wept. His dad placed the photo down and embraced his son in his arms; holding him tightly as he sobbed with him.

Gerard wrapped his arms around his dad's shoulders as he buried his face in his chest...they cried together for a while.

"I'm...I'm so sorry...dad, I'm sorry--"

"I know son, I know..."

"I didn't mean what I said; all those horrible things, I didn't mean it...I was stupid and mean...I didn't mean to yell at you, and at mom...I didn't mean what I said about Mikey..." His dad shushed him as he patted his back and placed soothing kisses against Gerard's head.

"I didn't mean to slap you..."

"I deserved it...I'm a horrible son..."

"No, you're not. You're just hurting...I know how sad you are--"

"Dad, I was the one driving the car...I wasn't paying attention and I crashed the car; Mikey is gone...all because of me..."

"No...don't blame yourself Gerard, please...what happened to Mikey was tragic, but you aren't responsible for your brother's death."

"But...I am..." His dad broke the hug and made Gerard face him.

"Gerard...look into my eyes and listen to me. I love you, and I love Mikey. You're both my sons and both of you and your mother are the light in my life...you all mean the world to me. We lost Mikey--we all did...and it was heartbreaking...but at least we still have you. Our firstborn, our beautiful Gerard..." His dad said as he wiped away his son's tears.

"Your mom and I love you with every single breath we take. What happened to Mikey was an accident...we never thought this would happen to our family, but it did. You can't blame yourself for what happened..." Gerard was quiet as he stared into his dad's eyes.

"Mikey will always be alive in our hearts. We can't forget him...and you? You're alive. We're grateful and happy...and right now, you're in a dark place. But just remember that you're going to be okay...we love you and things will heal in time." Gerard hated the heart to heart speech because he's heard it so many times...but, he knew it was true. Deep down, he felt it; he was torturing himself every single day because he did feel responsible for what happened to Mikey.

If he hadn't argued with him...if he hadn't slapped the engagement ring out of Mikey's hand...if he hadn't taken his eyes off the road...Mikey would still be alive. If Gerard was just happy for his brother about his plan--he'd still have a brother. He felt completely responsible for his death, but his dad was right.

He knew in time that he could heal, if he allowed himself to, but he felt he didn't deserve to be happy.

"Just try to heal. For me; for your mom; for Mikey...and for you. Please." Gerard was still upset, but he just nodded his head in response...his dad sniffled softly as he wiped away his own tears before turning back at the photos on the table.

"Here." His dad said as he lifted up the old photograph he loved so much and handed it to him.

"It's my favorite picture of you two. I want you to have it. Keep it as a reminder..." Gerard looked down at the picture. He stared at the smiles that forever remained on their young faces...when things were so much simpler back then.

"Please, forgive me..." Gerard spoke softly as he lifted his head up after staring down at the photo in his hands...he made direct eye contact with his dad, again.

"I forgive you. I will always forgive you. When your mother wakes up, you apologize to her too, understand?"

"Yes, sir." He patted his hand down against Gerard's shoulder, lightly squeezing onto it as he managed to smile a small half smile at him.

"Going to your session today?"

"...it's too late."

"I think as long as you go, it doesn't matter what time you arrive. You should--get out of the house for a bit. It'll do you some good." Once Gerard changed into a pair of clean clothes, his dad drove him to physical therapy...he was honestly dreading it because he was worried about seeing Frank.

He was incredibly cold to him...he hurt him, he said awful things to him...Gerard was anxious. Gerard made his way inside the building and wheeled his way to the usual room where he'd go for his sessions. He was surprised as he noticed Frank wasn't there...he was always there.

"Good afternoon, Gerard." A female assistant approached him--she was pretty; brunette hair pulled back into a ponytail, her skin was kissed by the sun, and she had stunning coffee brown eyes.

"Is Frank Iero here...?"

"No, I'm sorry. He said he wasn't feeling well today and didn't come in--I'm sure he'll be back tomorrow, though." She said with a smile on her face; even her teeth were perfect, white, and straight.

Gerard felt disappointed as he bit down on his bottom lip...he really upset Frank because he didn't believe he was sick.

"Are you ready for your session?" Gerard lifted his head up and looked up at the brown eyed girl. He just nodded his head in response.

Session went by smoothly, but slow; Gerard had his legs massaged and exercised, and he managed to actually pull himself up with his upper body strength into his chair and wheeled his way over to the parallel bars--even strapped himself in the device that would lift him up and out of his seat...Gerard was becoming more and more independent each day.

He didn't take a step again, but he focused on his breathing and on the weight of his upper body; balancing himself as he tried to do what Frank told him to do--to talk to his legs. To get them to feel again...he tried, but failed. Gerard needed to have Frank with him...he was his inspiration; Frank was his motivation...he felt guilty for how he treated him. He couldn't stop thinking about the look of hurt on his face...he'd do anything to see him again, to apologize to him...to just see him again, really.

Gerard needed Frank. He was his strength...he needed him.


	8. Apologize

Several days had come and go...Gerard was still somewhat in a funk; didn't go to his sessions and he kept himself cooped up in his room, drawing Frank, over and over. He even drew Mikey for a bit...his parents would check on him, and Gerard would tell them the same things he kept saying to them for days.

"I'm fine." He was calm--didn't throw any tantrums or have any episodes...but he was far from fine. He cried to himself still, but he'd try to stop. And when he felt that familiar and burning pain...Gerard would take his pills to numb himself. Most of the time he slept...the pills were the only thing that could really help him get any rest; the pills even blacked out Gerard's mind--every time he'd take them and fall into a deep and uninterrupted slumber, he wouldn't dream. He wouldn't dream about the crash...he wouldn't think about the stupid argument he had with Mikey. He blocked it all out with the painkillers...they were his best friend; they were his comfort; they were his escape...but they were also his addiction.

Gerard spent half the day cooped up in his room again. He laid flat on his back against his soft bed--his eyes were glued to his phone as he roamed around on Facebook...he wasn't really active anymore, but he still liked sharing things or just watching videos that entertained him. Anything to keep him preoccupied, really.

Out of pure curiosity...Gerard searched for Frank...surely enough, he found him instantly.

Frank Iero

Works at Guitar Center

Went to Queen of Peace High School

Lives in Newark, New Jersey

From Belleville, New Jersey

Single

Joined January 2013

Gerard's heart raced as he reread the word 'single' over and over...for some reason, he felt relieved about it.

He decided to cyber stalk his profile--to try and get a better idea on what kind of person Frank is. His birthday is October 31st; a Halloween baby, and his favorite holiday. He loves Tim Burton films and his favorite is 'The Nightmare Before Christmas'. Frank is an animal lover--loves dogs, Gerard found plenty of photos of Frank posing with a dog he assumed was his. He also came across a lot of pictures of Frank posing with a rainbow flag wrapped around him; using it like a blanket...Gerard even found a photo of Frank wearing a face full of makeup.

His eyeshadow and lipstick were rainbow...Gerard immediately felt himself blush and quickly realized that he is gay. He even came across several photos of Frank with another guy; brown eyes; cute smile; very long, dark, curly, and poofy hair...Gerard felt jealous of him. He even stalked the curly haired man's profile--Ray Toro.

Apparently Ray is Frank's best friend; they've been friends since they were young, Gerard found very old photos of the both of them throughout their teenage years...Gerard even chuckled at the sight of Frank with long and messy dreadlocks. Ray wasn't gay--that was obvious, he has a girlfriend, and she's seen in a lot of photos with him. Gerard let out another sigh of relief and felt confused as to why he was even jealous or relieved in the first place.

Just before he was about to finish being a cyber stalker...Gerard then came across photos of Frank and they looked to be hospital selfies. These might have been from his accident...it might explain what happened to Frank and why he needed to attend physical therapy. All he found were silly selfies of Frank while in the hospital...his handsome face was all bruised and cut up--his left eyebrow where he had his thick and visible scar, was stitched up...even his eyes were swollen looking, but he kept smiling and giving a thumbs up or a peace sign or even a rock n roll hand gesture for the camera. Gerard liked that about him, how he could still somehow be in high spirits during the worst of times. He envied that.

After inspecting his profile, Gerard was debating whether or not he should send Frank a friend request or not...he wanted to, but he didn't want to come off as weird. After a long time of hard thinking, Gerard decided to send one.

He was surprised when Frank accepted it and he didn't hesitate to message him.

"Frank,

I'm not really good at apologies and I would have apologized to you in person because I feel that doing it through a message isn't as thoughtful or meaningful...but, I didn't see you at physical therapy and I know you were still mad at me. Plus, I don't know your cell number and therefore--couldn't contact you. Anyway, here I go. I'm really sorry for the things I said to you the last time we ran into one another. I was having a particularly bad day that day and I didn't mean to be so harsh and so cold to you...you didn't deserve that. You've been nothing but nice to me and you're really cool...I like you and I don't want you to hate me. So...please accept my apology?" His heart was racing now after he sent Frank the message.

It began to race even faster as he saw that Frank was responding.

"You're a jerk." Was all Frank responded with.

"Seriously? I write out this heartfelt apology and all you say is that...?"

"😉" Gerard rolled his eyes as he let out a soft sigh. He then proceeded by sending a photo of a meme of a sad cat apologizing.

"Aww, sad kitty ☹️"

"I know I'm a jerk. I'm an asshole, okay? I'm sorry..."

"I forgive you, asshole."

"I deserve that..."

"Dude, I was joking. You don't have a sense of humor, huh?" Gerard blushed in embarrassment and frowned to himself.

"Yes I do!"

"Mhmm 😆 I'm sure."

"I do, shut it."

"😆😆😆" Gerard was still blushing in embarrassment, but he smiled to himself at Frank's silly behavior. He felt like a heavy weight had been lifted off his chest; like he could breathe again...Gerard was happy Frank wasn't mad at him, anymore.

"I feel super shitty for being such a dick to you...I want to make it up to you and take you out to dinner or something."

"Are you asking me out on a date?" Gerard felt his heart quicken and he nearly dropped his phone on his face.

"No, no--I meant, like, to hang out or something..."

"Gee--you need to relax. You're gonna give yourself a heart attack 😅"

"I haven't been able to relax in a long while..."

"Well, allow me to offer you a night out. We can go for drinks?"

"No thanks...not much of a drinker."

"Oh okay, that's fine. Wanna grab a bite to eat? I know a joint where they have some amazing sushi."

"I hate sushi."

"God, you're picky 😆" Gerard let out a soft chuckle. He enjoyed chatting with Frank--took his mind off other things that he'd rather not discuss...things that haunt him.

"I'm sorry...I know I'm being difficult."

"Don't apologize. Tell ya' what--come to physical therapy tomorrow and we'll think of something, together?" Gerard felt his face heat up again as he sat himself up in his bed; his upper body strength was getting more strong each time he attended his sessions.

"Okay." Was all Gerard managed to say.

"Okay."

"...well...guess I'll see you tomorrow then?" It was unexpected, but suddenly Frank sent Gerard a selfie response; he was smiling at the camera while winking--Gerard quickly saw his eyebrow scar and grew to like the sight of it...it made him that much more handsome of possible. He was even playfully sticking his tongue out, which made Gerard giggle softly. He saved the photo.

"Here's my number--let me know when you're at physical therapy tomorrow. Ttyl 😘" He saved his cell number into his phone and felt a sudden rush of excitement, anxiety, and confusion all at once.

Frank somehow put him in a better mood; he lightened things up for him just by talking...Gerard couldn't stop smiling to himself as he stared at Frank's selfie for what felt like hours. His spirits were so lifted that he actually left his room to join his parents for dinner...even they were surprised, but glad.

"Hope you're hungry."

"Starving." Gerard said as he forked a juicy looking pork chop off the serving plate that rested in the center of the dining table. He helped himself to a side of mashed potatoes and corn.

"You seem different today..." His mom noticed as she watched Gerard actually eat the food on his plate--she even noticed the small smile on his face, and how bright his eyes seemed.

"You look genuinely happy, son...what happened?" His dad asked as they both stared at him. Gerard lifted his head up and looked at both of them with a mouthful of food.

"...just in a good mood?" His parents chuckled, which made him chuckle, and his mom gently placed her hand down against her son's arm, rubbing it before giving it a soft squeeze.

"I'm glad to see you in a good mood, sweetie. I missed your smile." Gerard blushed in embarrassment and managed to smile a small smile at his mom, which made her smile grow wider as she softly stroked his long hair; moving it behind his ear so she could see his beautiful face.

That night Gerard took about four painkillers to help him sleep...he felt a little guilty because he didn't really use them for his pain anymore, but more for numbing away everything; his mind, his memories, his life...he didn't want to admit that he depended on them.

Sleep was beginning to take over his body and he felt that familiar heavy feeling in his eyelids as they began to flutter; his muscles were relaxing, feeling like jello, and he felt himself sinking into the soft cushioning of his mattress underneath him.

"You know that isn't candy..." His eyes shot open as he heard the clear voice right next to him and he turned his head to find Mikey laying right next to him on his bed.

"...what...? Mikey...?"

"You need to quit taking those to help you sleep; you're getting addicted and you'll end up killing yourself..."

"You're not real...you're not here." Gerard mumbled as he shook his head in disbelief and turned his head away as he felt his eyes stinging with tears...he felt Mikey's hand grab a hold of his; lightly squeezing onto it. It felt so real--his skin was warm and soft...Gerard let out a soft whimper as he squeezed his brother's hand back in his, still avoiding looking at him...he couldn't do it.

"I'm real, Gee. I'm right here with you."

"...you're dead..."

"I'm aware, but I'm still here with you..." Gerard sniffled as tears spilled out of his eyes. He then slowly turned his head back and could see Mikey still staring at him.

"I miss you...I miss you so fucking much, Mikey..."

"I miss you too, Gee...please, stop taking the painkillers. Please."

"I need them--"

"No, you don't. You need to try and get better; keep going to your sessions, and keep trying...before you know it, you'll be walking again."

"I can't...I can't, and it's so hard without you..."

"Yes you can, you're strong. I know you can do it..." Gerard continued sobbing softly as he held onto his brother's hand in his, squeezing onto it tightly, never wanting to let him go.

"...stay with me...? Please...?" Gerard whispered to Mikey, still feeling his hand in his...his eyes were closed, but more tears were spilling down his face as he felt sleep taking over.

"I'll always be with you, big brother." Mikey whispered back softly, and in a matter of seconds...Gerard fell into a deep slumber.


	9. Hopeful

"So, where do you wanna go?" Gerard was focusing on his breathing as he felt the heavy and tugging weight of his lower body...he let out a sharp exhale as he looked directly into Frank's bright hazel eyes, giving him a look of disbelief.

"You're...seriously asking--me now...?" He choked out in between hard breaths as he tried to balance his dead lower weight with his hands; already feeling both his wrists trembling on the bars...his face dampened with sweat as his heart was racing rapidly inside of his chest, trying to focus on his breathing.

"Here, I gotcha..." Frank said as he then grabbed a hold of Gerard by his waist, holding him in his arms while Gerard breathed hard and heavily.

"Thanks..."

"Of course. Take a breather." Frank responded as he continued holding onto Gerard. His cheeks flushed baby pink as he avoided eye contact with Frank...his heart quickened even more as he felt Frank's body against his; his chest slowly puffing in and out at a normal rhythm against Gerard's chest...he could even smell his scent--sweat mixed with his cologne.

"You good?" Frank asked Gerard. He nodded his head in response before Frank released his hold on him. He let out a soft grunt as he felt the pressure build up in his hands and wrists; the sweat in the palm of both his hands made his grip around the bars a bit slippery.

"...can't..." Gerard choked out, his face all red as he felt a trickle of sweat run down his neck.

"Just keep trying, Gee."

"...too hard...can't..."

"Just focus on your breathing like you've been doing--it gets worse before getting better. I'll catch you if you fall."

"Frank--can't walk..."

"I know, but you can't just give up. Keep trying, I know you can do this." Frank stood close, but not too close. They stood about 3 feet apart from one another on the parallel bars...he crossed his tattooed and toned arms across his chest as he watched Gerard struggle a bit to balance himself...his legs just dangled and he was beginning to feel frustrated because no matter how much he tried talking to his legs, they wouldn't budge.

"I can't take another step...I've tried..." Gerard admitted; feeling ashamed in himself, and feeling like he let Frank down...Frank smiled a small half-smile at Gerard, making him blush even redder.

"Don't be so hard on yourself...it takes time. Trust me, I know." That's when Gerard's curiosity got the better of him as his mind wandered off to the photos of Frank he found on his Facebook profile; the selfies of when he was in the hospital recovering from his accident...he's been wanting to ask him so badly about what happened but didn't have the courage to. Today was a different story.

"...what made you come to physical therapy...?" Gerard choked out in between breaths, inhaling deeply as he instantly regretted asking Frank his risqué question.

"Simple. I got into a bad accident and then I ended up here." Gerard rolled his eyes as he let out a loud sigh of annoyance--trying to hold his own weight still.

"I know that part--but what happened to you...?" Frank looked at Gerard, raising an eyebrow as a small and mischievous smirk began curling in the corners of his mouth.

"Tell you what. If you ever tell me about your accident, I'll tell you about mine. I think that's fair." Gerard then felt that familiar tingle in his legs; it felt like how they did the first time he managed to take a step...his legs felt like they were waking up and the nerves had that fuzzy feeling and suddenly Gerard managed to not just take one but two small steps towards Frank before losing his balance and falling forward as his hands slipped off the bars.

"Whoa, shit!" Frank yelled out as he caught Gerard in his arms, but they both ended up falling together. Frank landed right on his back against the floor as Gerard laid on top of him.

"Oh, my God--Frank, I'm so sorry!" Gerard was completely embarrassed and shocked as he tried moving himself off of Frank.

"Dude--you took two steps!" He said enthusiastically in between breaths; his face all bright red from Gerard's weight crushing him, and the veins on his neck were popping and visible.

Gerard struggled to try and get himself off of Frank, but Frank managed to sit himself up--moving both himself and Gerard into a more comfortable position...their foreheads almost touching one another's now; both panting for air as they stared into each other's eyes...Gerard immediately broke eye contact as he felt his cheeks burn up and was pretty sure they were red...he cleared his throat softly. Frank chuckled softly before he lightly cupped the green eyed man's stumbled chin with his hand...he made him look back at him and the tips of their noses touched.

"You did it again, dude--I'm impressed. I'm very, very proud." Both still panting for air, Gerard swallowed his saliva hard--Frank heard the loud 'gulp' sound in his throat as he watched his Adam's apple move.

He didn't know if he was imagining it or not, but Gerard swore that Frank was slowly leaning his face even closer to his...he could feel his hot breath against his lips...his heart beating rapidly as he stayed completely still.

"C'mon, let me help you up." Frank finally spoke, making Gerard sigh out softly as Frank carefully lifted him up; holding onto him with both arms wrapped around his waist as he helped himself up.

Gerard couldn't make eye contact with Frank once they were both standing on their feet. Well, once Frank was on his and Gerard was back to supporting his own weight on the parallel bars.

"That was fucking amazing Gee--you took more steps! Did you feel your legs?"

"...um...a little. Vaguely."

"That's a step!" Gerard shot a quick glance over at Frank as he looked unamused from the term he used.

"No pun intended." Frank chuckled, grinning his toothy grin...Gerard really liked his smile. It was so goofy, and so sweet...he loved that Frank was kindhearted, especially.

"Think you can do it one more time? Then we'll leave to wherever it is you'd like to go?" It seemed hopeless...but it happened, again. He felt something awaken in his legs--like his nerves were on vibrate and he took those small steps...it was kind of scary, but also kind of exciting.

Gerard just nodded his head in response slowly as he gripped onto the bars tightly...he took a deep breath before he managed to move himself forward with his hands on the bars, dragging his numb lower half underneath him.

"Just focus on walking; make that your main priority...just remember to breathe, and to tell yourself that you're going to take a step--no matter how big or small."

"Catch me again if I fall...?"

"You know it, boo." Frank winked at Gerard while grinning his sweet grin at him, making him blush even harder than before.

He took more deep breaths in before exhaling out sharply...mentally telling himself that he could do it again, even though he was a bit doubtful. He told himself that he could take another step...Gerard even begged for his legs to wake up, just one more time for the day...without even realizing it, he had taken another step; then another one after that. His legs wobbled and his feet had that weird feeling on the bottom--like they were asleep for a long time and just beginning to get the feeling back in them.

This time he didn't fall after he took his steps. Gerard let out a soft sigh which then turned into a soft gasp...next thing he knew, he was beginning to sob softly. Frank embraced him in his arms with a hug; squeezing onto him as Gerard still held onto the bars as he buried his face in Frank's shoulder...he was extremely overwhelmed with all sorts of emotions and the only thing he could think of doing was crying.

"You did so well today, Gee. You took four steps altogether today and I know it feels good to feel that little spark in your legs--even if it's only for a short moment. You did amazing." Frank spoke in a soft and soothing tone to Gerard as he gently rubbed his back, just letting him cry it all out.

"I'm fucking proud of you, man."

"...I couldn't have done it without you..." Gerard responded as he lifted his head up from Frank's shoulder; his shirt was soaked with Gerard's tears but it didn't bother him.

"Yes you could've, I just had to give you a boost."

"Which is exactly what I needed...otherwise I wouldn't have been able to even take one step. Thank you, Frank." It was the shorter and tattooed man's turn to blush now as his grin still rested on his handsome face, biting down on his bottom lip.

"Someday you'll be walking again, and you won't need me anymore..."

"That's not true. I still want you around in my life..." They both remained silent as they stared into one another's eyes again...Gerard actually smiled a small smile at Frank, who's grin bloomed into a full toothy smile.

"Do you like comic books?" Gerard suddenly asked him.

"I enjoy them, yeah. Why?"

"I was wondering if we could check out a comic book store together...? Maybe get some ramen afterwards? I mean, if you even like ramen...?"

"Sounds like a date. And no, not a 'date-date'. Plus--I fucking love ramen; used to live off that shit." Gerard smiled again and Frank helped him over to his chair along with getting him out of the device that helps lift him out of it.

"I'm paying though--my treat." Frank said, quickly ending the discussion. Gerard's long and messy hair dangling in his face as he felt himself blushing still--all pink in the cheeks while fumbling around with the dead skin on his fingertips.

Frank lightly cupped his chin once more, lifting it up so their gaze would meet...he then moved his long strands behind his ears, revealing his angelic face.

"Don't hide your face; it's too beautiful for that." He gulped hard again as he gazed up at the gorgeous hazel eyed and tattooed man standing tall in front of him...his heart was thumping away inside of his chest, and he didn't break eye contact.

"...I'll keep that in mind." Gerard responded, his breath soft and shaky, and Frank couldn't help but grin down at him once more before they made their way out of the room and the building and headed to their closest comic book store.


	10. Stargaze

The drive was peaceful; quiet and relaxing as Frank drove them to the nearest comic book store. They didn't make too much small talk, but it wasn't at all awkward or uncomfortable. The radio played some heavy rock tunes--not too loud or too soft, so that if they did talk they could hear one another.

Gerard couldn't help but feel a bit anxious in the passenger seat; his heart was racing, the palms of his hands were sweaty, and his breathing was erratic.

"You okay...?" Frank noticed Gerard looking a bit on edge as he kept his back arched against the seat...his eyes staring down at his hands as he fumbled around with his fingertips, biting down on his bottom lip while pulling the dead skin off the corners of his fingernails.

"Gee...?"

"Just...motion sickness." He lied as he mumbled softly, still fumbling around with his sweaty hands. Frank turned on the AC inside of his car and the cold air blowing against Gerard's dampened face was actually soothing and it made him sigh out softly in relief.

"I can change the music if you'd like--you don't seem to be into my taste." Gerard shook his head as he was now playing with a dangling string off of his denim blue jacket.

"No, no--this is your car. I don't mind."

"You're my guest--it's okay. What would you like to listen to?" Frank was so generous. Gerard couldn't quite understand his personality...there were moments where Frank seemed to be nothing more than a cheeky brat. Then other times he was loving and compassionate. It was weird to Gerard.

"Um...well...I really like 80's and 90's pop-punk and punk-rock. If that's alright with you..." Gerard said as he slowly turned his head just enough for the corner of his eye to catch a quick glance over at Frank.

He was smiling his sweet smile to himself as he changed the radio station to play some oldies. The car was then filled with 'Time After Time' by Cyndi Lauper and Gerard felt that small jolt of familiarity and excitement vibrate through his veins and he couldn't help but smile. He loved that song.

"You're adorable, you know that?"

"...huh?" Gerard responded dumbfounded as he finally turned his head to his left, making direct eye contact with Frank. He chuckled softly as he put all of his attention back on the road.

"I saw you smile at the song. You're adorable--plain and simple." Gerard blushed in embarrassment as he moved his long and slightly messy hair from behind his ear and ended up covering the left side of his face; breaking eye contact with Frank.

"...I used to look more groomed than this...I looked cleaner; my hair was shorter, actually washed, and I didn't have facial hair. I look like a hobo..."

"No you don't, Gee. You're gorgeous and I mean that. So what if your appearance is different from how you used to look? I like you for more than just your face." He could feel his heart thumping away inside of his chest; feeling like it was about to break through his chest bone and burst through his flesh and skin...he put both of his hands together--intertwining them with one another as his eyes stared out of the car window.

"...you like me...?"

"Yes, I do. I like you, a lot." Gerard's mind began to wander to the memories of the last time he and Mikey were together. He remembers seeing Mikey sitting in the passenger seat, just like how he was in Frank's car, and they were listening to 80's and 90's songs.

"Why do you like me...?" He asked Frank, turning his gaze back at him.

"Do I really need a reason to explain to you why I like you?" Frank asked, his attention still focused on the road.

"We hardly know each other. I'm kind of an asshole--plus, I'm not gay..."

"Oh yeah, sure." Frank snorted, laughing immediately afterwards. Gerard frowned as he felt his face heating up and his cheeks were flushing bright ruby red.

"What's that supposed to mean...?"

"Gee--you already know my sexuality, I know you stalked my Facebook account. I have a very good gaydar; I can tell when someone is attracted to someone who's the same gender as them."

"Your point...?"

"You're attracted to me." Gerard opened his mouth, but no sound came out. He continued frowning and blushing.

"...I...uhh..." Gerard fell silent. He was speechless and he couldn't really disagree with Frank.

"I know you like me, too. However I don't think you're comfortable with your true self, yet."

"Don't act like you know me, okay...? I've been with girls, before."

"So have I. At least 1."

"What happened?"

"We never had sex, if that's what you're wondering. There was a close call once, but nothing happened. We kissed a lot and cuddled--but our relationship didn't have any spark; no passion, and no desire...I tried, but I never felt any attraction of any sort with women."

"And...?" Gerard asked Frank as he listened like a curious child.

"I was honest with my ex-girlfriend and she was very understanding. She even said she already knew. We ended things on good terms--we're still friends today, actually." Gerard felt that envious feeling again--wishing that he was just as courageous as Frank.

He began to think about all the times his folks asked him about his personal life; relationship and even the topic of marriage and grandchildren...it got even worse when Mikey hooked up with Kristin and Gerard was still single.

"What about you?"

"...what?"

"You said you've been with girls before. Ever slept with one?"

"...not that it's any of your business, but...yeah." Frank raised an eyebrow in surprise as he shot a quick glance over at him.

"Really?"

"...yup. It only happened once and it was a long time ago..."

"Did you like it?"

"...huh?"

"Was sex with a woman pleasurable?" Gerard's face felt like it was on fire now and Frank could see how red his face was--practically as red as cherries.

"...honestly Frank, no. I had the same problem with my last girlfriend as you--there was no spark, passion, or desire...but one day we were alone and making out and...my mind wandered off and somehow I got aroused and we ended up doing it...I climaxed, but...it wasn't pleasurable." Gerard fell silent again after pretty much pouring the most personal and private information to a guy he barely knew.

"...I can't believe I just told you all of that..."

"You don't need to be embarrassed, Gerard. Sometimes it's easier to tell these kinds of things to someone you barely know."

"...yeah well, I'm embarrassed."

"If it makes you feel any better, I lost my virginity to some guy I met at a concert when I was, like, seventeen. He bought me some drinks and we ended up having a one night stand."

"...you did...?" Frank chuckled softly while nodding his head in response. Gerard was actually shocked but he didn't judge.

"Another time I had a quickie with a guy I got acquainted with at a pride parade--we ended up having a quickie in the bathroom of a bar. Then there was one time where I went to a gay spa place and ended up getting a blowjob from some guy in the sauna." Gerard raised his eyebrows as his eyes widened.

"...guess you got around a lot, huh?" Frank laughed, as did Gerard--though with him it was light and awkward.

"I was young, horny, and adventurous. Don't judge me."

"I wasn't." Gerard couldn't help but feel a bit jealous and he couldn't understand why...the thought of Frank having sex with other people made him upset.

"How long has it been since...since you...had sex...?" Gerard couldn't help but ask, wanting to smack himself in the head shortly after, feeling incredibly embarrassed.

"Long, long while. I've settled down since then. Once I reached my late twenties and went into my early thirties, I quit being such a slut." They both laughed together again, and Gerard actually felt relieved in knowing that.

"You?"

"Oh...I only had sex, once. And that was a long time ago, too. I've been revirginized since then."

"Revirginized?" Gerard smiled a half smile, feeling embarrassed still. Frank smiled his toothy smile and let out a soft chuckle.

"Like I said before, you're too adorable." After they finished with that topic, they just say together in silence as Frank continued driving them to their destination.

They arrived outside of a comic book store shortly after, and Frank helped Gerard out of the passenger seat of his car and into his wheelchair.

"You like Batman?" Frank asked as he eyed some superhero comics--grabbing a few to examine them.

"I love Batman; one of my favorite superheroes, actually."

"Have you read about the Batman that laughs? That shit is made up of pure nightmare fuel." They made eye contact with one another, laughing together lightly as they checked out some more comics.

"Ooh, The Walking Dead! The comics are way better than the show." Frank said as his eyes grew even bigger as he skimmed through several pages inside the thick hard covered comic.

"Agreed. The first few seasons of the show weren't that bad, but it sucks now."

"Oh look--they got Fables, too!" Gerard wheeled his way over to grab a hold of the comics; reaching his arm out to take it off the shelf, he ended up accidentally knocking a few comics off, making them land on the floor.

"...shit..." Gerard mumbled to himself, feeling so embarrassed as he noticed a few strangers staring over at him, whispering to one another.

"Oh Gee, let me help you with that--" Frank said as he kneeled down to Gerard's level, helping him pick up the scattered comics that were spread out on the floor.

"I'm sorry..."

"No, don't be. I could've helped you grab it, you know."

"I can do it myself..."

"There's nothing wrong with a little help. You're still learning how to use your legs again, but you still need your wheelchair--"

"I get it, Frank." Gerard snapped at him, frowning as he moved his long hair behind his ear. Frank sighed softly as he took one of the Fables comics off the shelf and handed it to Gerard.

"Find anything you want to buy?"

"I don't know. Still looking." Gerard was obviously in a mood; his tone was monotoned, his focus was no longer on Frank--instead on the comics resting on his lap, and Frank let out a small sigh in defeat as he let him cool off.

Once they purchased a fair amount of comic books, Gerard only spoke to announce to Frank that he was hungry. He drove them to the nearest ramen noodle place around; inside looked like an anime threw up all over it--even the waitresses were dressed up in cute little anime outfits.

"This place is pretty cool--little bit anime convention looking, but this is pretty neat." Frank said as his big bright hazel eyes examined the place--all the bright hot pink neon lights lighting up the place, and even the lights were painted a bright pastel pink color.

"How's their ramen?" Gerard's green eyes shifted from the menu directly at the tattooed and hazel eyed handsome man sitting across from him.

"It's good." Was all he said.

"You still mad...?"

"Do you ever quit talking? Just look for something to eat, please." Frank frowned over at Gerard as his face scrunched up a bit as he quickly raised both his perfect and naturally thin dark eyebrows up, mumbling something to himself as he looked down at the menu.

Gerard felt extremely rude and super guilty for the way he's been acting ever since his little moment back at the comic book store.

"Hey...I'm sorry, Frank."

"Don't apologize, Gee. It's okay."

"No, I didn't mean to be rude..."

"You're just a bitter dude, but you're still cute and you've got your moments of being sweet." Gerard blushed to himself, but he just smiled over at Frank. A small and sweet smile; a real smile, where he even showed off his teeth.

"You have a nice smile, Gee. You have cute little teeth." Gerard immediately covered his teeth with his lips.

"My teeth are crooked..."

"And...? You don't need perfectly straight teeth to have a nice smile."

"You've got perfectly straight teeth." Frank shrugged his shoulders, playfully showing off his teeth--licking his tongue across them.

"My teeth weren't always this straight. Got them fixed."

"I bet your teeth were nice even before you got them fixed...Frank, you're incredibly handsome." Frank raised his eyebrows again, smirking his little mischievous smirk as his cheeks flushed bright pink. Just then, a waitress approached their table and they ordered their bowls of ramen.

For a while, they eat their food in silence--occasionally glancing over at one another, smiling at each other before breaking quick eye contact, again.

"Hey, you wanna check out my secret place afterwards?"

"...is that your way of inviting me over to your place...?" Frank nearly choked on his ramen as he was slurping it up.

"No, no--I wasn't inviting you back at my place..." Gerard blushed bright red, and he felt extremely flustered and embarrassed.

"I meant--I know a place to take you to star gaze. It's a secret place I go to..."

"Star gaze...?" Frank nodded his head in response as he was finishing up the rest of his noodles.

"You can see them clearly when you're away from the city. After my accident, I used to go there a lot to clear my mind...it helped me cope. So...I figured I'd bring a friend."

"That sounds nice. I'd like that..." They smiled over at one another as they finished up their ramen bowls, payed and even left a decent tip, and Frank wheeled Gerard back to his car--helping him into his passenger seat. They drove with the windows rolled down, and the car radio continued playing 80's and 90's tunes...Gerard stuck his hand out of the car window; feeling the wind blow in between his fingers...he actually felt calm and relaxed.

At some point, Gerard looked over at Frank and Frank looked over at Gerard...the sad and greened eyed man grabbed a hold of the tattooed and hazel eyed man's hand in his--lightly squeezing onto it without saying a word.

Frank smiled over at Gerard as he squeezed his hand back in his. They drove far out of the city of New Jersey, away from civilization, and Frank found his familiar and secret spot. It was dark outside; practically pitch black...the moon shines brightly and the stars above them were twinkling. Frank helped Gerard out of his wheelchair, held his body close against his, and carefully laid him down in the soft grass before sitting himself down next to him.

"Wow...the stars are so bright, tonight..." Gerard said as his eyes widened at the starry night sky.

"Told you, you can see the stars so clearly out here."

"It's so beautiful."

"You're beautiful." Gerard was silent as his eyes continued staring up at the Prussian blue colored sky, spotted with bright and twinkling stars...the air was cool, but not freezing.

"I used to come out here all the time..." Frank spoke as he began to stare up at the stars, his mind drifting off into the memories of his journey to recovery.

For a long while, they both just sat together in complete silence in the grass--staring up at the stars...Gerard's mind began to grow more and more curious as he wondered what happened to Frank.

"Frank...?" He called out his name softly, turning his head to gaze over at him. Frank responded by turning his head to gaze back at Gerard--their eyes meeting.

"...what...what happened to you...?" Frank didn't need Gerard to repeat his question. He knew sooner or later that he'd ask him about it...Frank couldn't avoid it, forever.

"Tell me about what happened to you first, then I'll tell you my story. That was our deal, remember?" Gerard looked away from Frank...he looked down at his hands; fumbling around with his fingers--continuing to pick away at the dead skin by his fingernails...his heart was racing like crazy now and he felt his stomach was twisting into tight knots.

"...right. Umm...well...Frank, I need a minute."

"I understand...take your time." Frank could hear Gerard's breathing grow erratic; his chest was heaving in and out at a rapid pace--his breathing was hard and heavy...Frank was nothing but patient.

"...Frank...I...my..." He stuttered over his own words as he tried to figure out a way to tell his accident story. Frank scooted himself closer towards Gerard in the soft and cool grass below them, grabbing a hold of Gerard's hand in his, lightly squeezing onto it.

"...several months ago, I was driving over to my parent's house for a family dinner...it was me and my younger brother, Mikey. We spent a lot of family time together...Mikey had a girlfriend that he invited over to the dinner. Kristin. I asked him why he invited her over and...he...he told me about his plan on proposing to her." Gerard had to stop for a moment to take a deep breath, squeezing onto Frank's hand even tighter than before...his breathing still hard, heavy, and unsteady.

"...they were only together for two months. Two months. I didn't like the idea of my brother popping the big question to Kristin because I felt it was way too soon...I felt like he was rushing into it. I was trying to look out for him...he even bought her an engagement ring--he showed it to me and I told him it was a stupid idea. He got mad and we fought...he so badly wanted me to approve of his plan; Mikey wanted me to give him my blessing. I didn't. I wouldn't...he wanted to show me the ring but I smacked it out of his hand...it fell somewhere in the backseat and..." Gerard began to choke on his own words as he let out soft whimpers. He squeezed onto Frank's hand even tighter now as his eyes stung with tears that were forming inside...he was trying to stay calm before continuing.

"M-Mikey...he...he unbuckled his s-seatbelt. He went to go retrieve the ring...I took my eyes off the road to lecture him some more...my eyes weren't even off the road for more than a second, but it was enough for me to not see the truck in front of me...coming my way...our cars collided and...I still hear the sounds from the crash; the metal scraping, the glass breaking, the loud truck horn...I even remember the sounds of all the loud bangs of my car flipping over--each loud crash getting louder and louder...I could hear myself screaming, calling out Mikey's name...he didn't make a sound. I'm pretty sure he died as soon as the crash happened...the doctors said he broke his neck and he choked on his own blood...I crashed the car. Mikey died because of me...I killed my own brother...it was my fault..."

"Gee..." Frank scooted even closer as he proceeded by wrapping his arm around Gerard's shoulder, pulling him close against him as he softly shushed him. Gerard was sobbing in Frank's arms, and his body trembled...he let out loud whimpers and soft sniffles as the tears spilled down his cheeks--dripping off his chin.

"I m-made myself p-paralyzed...I k-killed Mikey...my own brother..."

"No you didn't, it wasn't your fault..." Frank continued shushing him, rubbing his shoulder as he held him close.

"I'm so sorry for what happened to you and your brother...I'm sorry you lost him...but it wasn't your fault. Accidents happen...you can't blame yourself that you had no control over."

"Mikey is gone because of me..."

"No...he broke his neck because of the accident, not you. It was a horrible accident...but none of it was your fault." Gerard lifted his head up to look at Frank. His eyes were red, puffy, and irritated as more tears ran down his tear soaked face...he looked so sad and so defeated...Frank was heartbroken to see Gerard that way.

Gerard then did the unexpected and he leaned his face forward towards Frank's--crashing his lips against his. He kissed him hard and roughly; their teeth grazed against each other, Gerard bit down on Frank's bottom lip, causing him to hiss out in pain and discomfort as he pulled away from Gerard...his lower lip was bleeding.

"...Frank...I'm...sorry..."

"No, no--don't be...just a bit rough is all..." Frank let out a soft chuckle as he licked the blood off his lip with his tongue while wiping the rest away with his thumb. He could taste the bitterness of copper resting on his tongue.

"...I...I wanna go home now."

"Gee--"

"Please take me home now, Frank." Gerard demanded as he avoided all eye contact with Frank. Too embarrassed and too emotional with what happened...Frank tried to assure Gerard that everything was okay, but Gerard wouldn't listen.

Frank didn't want to upset Gerard, so he helped him into his car...though Gerard wanted to sit in the backseat. The drive back into the city was long and awkward...Frank kept the music the same for Gerard, but he was too busy drowning everything out as his eyes stared into oblivion at the view from outside the car window.

Frank finally arrived at Gerard's parent's house...he helped him out of his car and into his wheelchair, and he helped wheel him up the walkway leading to the front door and he knocked on the door.

"You can go."

"Not until I say goodbye."

"Frank, just go..." The front door opened and Donna smiled over at Frank.

"Oh hi! You're Frank, right?"

"Yes, I'm glad you remember me." Frank said as he smiled back at Gerard's mom.

"So good to see you again, hon! Did you show Gerard a good time?"

"I'd like to think so." Donna then noticed the distress all over her son's face...he stared down at his hands resting on his lap.

"Well...I should get going, but I wanted to say goodnight to you, Mrs. Way. And to Gerard." Frank then kneeled down to Gerard's level and he placed his hand down against Gerard's lap.

"I hope to see you again, soon. I had a great time with you...goodnight, Gerard." He avoided eye contact with the handsome hazel eyed and tattooed man, still. Frank lightly patted Gerard's knee before he stood up and made his way back over to his car.

Donna helped her son in the house and she didn't bother asking any questions because she could tell Gerard was in a mood...she took him to his room, kissed the top of his head, and left him alone.

Gerard cried to himself for a while...thinking about the crash again; hearing the familiar noises that forever haunted him...he thought too much about Mikey. He missed him so much that he wanted to die--Gerard wanted to be with his younger brother again...he was tired of feeling all the pain that was buried inside of him. He wheeled his way over to his bottle of painkillers that rested inside of the top drawer in his nightstand...he took a handful of pills as he climbed out of his chair and into his bed.

"Gerard, you need to stop..." He could hear Mikey's voice clearly, as if he were in the room with him.

He lifted his head up--his vision was all blurry and everything was starting to sound distorted, but he could hear his brother.

"...M-Mikey..."

"You're going to kill yourself if you keep doing this...I don't want you to die--"

"You died...I didn't want you to die..."

"I know...I'm sorry for leaving you...but you can't keep doing this." Mikey said as he walked over to the nightstand beside Gerard's bed. He grabbed the bottle of painkillers off the nightstand and he put them in his pocket.

"Hey, wait--"

"You don't need these. I don't want you to die...mom and dad would be completely devastated if they lost you, too."

"Mikey, gimme the goddamn pills..." His speech was starting to slur as they pills were starting to kick in.

"Sleep if off. I'm doing this to look after you...I love you Gee, and I don't want you to fucking kill yourself with this shit."

"Mikey, please...stay with me..." Gerard whined out as he tried to sit himself up on his bed, and reach his hand out to him...he ended up falling out of bed and he landed head first into the ground, passing out immediately shortly after.


	11. Secret

"Come on, sweetheart...wake up, Gerard." His mother's voice was clear and soft spoken and he could smell her sweet perfume with each soft inhale...Gerard slowly opened his eyes; his long, dark, and curly eyelashes fluttered as he stared up at his mom.

"...m-mom..." He softly croaked out, trying to adjust his blurry vision and focus only on his mother's face.

"It's alright hon, everything is okay..." She continued speaking softly to her son as she gently rocked him in her arms while moving his long, dark, and messy hair out of his face.

"...w-what happened...?"

"You fell out of of your bed and hit your head--" Donna explained as she examined the huge and noticeable bruised bump resting on his forehead.

"My head hurts..."

"I know sweetheart, I'm sorry...I'll get you an ice pack, okay?" Gerard remembered seeing Mikey...he remembered talking to him and he even wondered if his painkillers were really gone or not.

Donna helped her son off the floor--Gerard was able to use his upper body strength to climb himself into his bed while his mom helped him with his lower body. Once he laid flat on his back, she leaned forward to place a gentle and soothing kiss on his forehead before she went to grab an ice pack for him.

He laid in bed all day with an ice pack pressed against his bruised forehead and he kept hearing his phone go off...every second there was a soft chime and vibrate. Gerard was too afraid to see what it was, or who it was.

Finally after he could no longer ignore the annoying notification sounds coming from his phone, he grabbed his phone that rested on his nightstand and saw that he had several unread messages from Frank.

"Are you okay...? I hope you're not embarrassed about what happened last night..."

"I wasn't mad about what happened, if that's what you're wondering."

"I'm so sorry for what happened to you and your brother--none of it was your fault and I'm sure Mikey wouldn't want you to blame yourself..."

"Gerard, please...talk to me. I really, really like you and I can't stop thinking about you and I want to know you're okay..."

"I had such a wonderful time with you last night, despite the few moments of tension between us--I loved spending time with you. You're really something and I want you see you again...I hope you want to see me, too."

"I don't regret you kissing me--I do wish it was a little bit more romantic and slow, but I'm happy you did it." Gerard's eyes teared up as he read through all the messages from Frank...his heart ached inside of his chest as he let out soft little whimpers.

He didn't want to admit it...he didn't want to say it; Gerard didn't even want to think it. Frank made Gerard feel...warm...he made him feel beautiful, wanted, important...every time he saw Frank--Gerard's stomach felt like he had butterflies fluttering around inside. His heart would race even quicker every time Frank smiled and his face would burn up and turn red or pink whenever Frank got close towards him...Gerard was in love with Frank Iero. In a way, Frank helped Gerard realize he was actually gay, himself.

Gerard wanted to love Frank, to be with him...but he felt he didn't deserve anyone because Mikey wanted to marry Kristin. She was the love of his life and he didn't even get to ask her to marry him...Gerard took away his only brother's chance at love, so why should he get that opportunity...?

Gerard cried softly to himself as he turned off the phone screen and tossed it over beside him.

"He's in love with you, too." Gerard gasped out loudly--almost screaming as he saw Mikey laying next to him on his bed, and he was as clear as day.

"M-Mikey...?"

"Sorry I scared you..." Mikey said as the corner of his mouth twisted into a small smirk.

"Frank likes you, Gee. He's in love with you and it's obvious."

"...I...you..." Gerard stuttered over his own words as he stared at Mikey's face. It's like he really was there with him...he knew he wasn't, but at the same time, he was...there.

"I'm happy you're starting to break out of your shell, Gee. You're in love with Frank, and he's in love with you, too."

"...Mikey, did you know about me...? Being gay...?" Mikey let out a soft little chuckle as his smirk grew into a small smile.

"I always knew."

"...why didn't you ever say anything...?"

"Because it doesn't matter, Gee. So you're attracted to men, and I'm attracted to women. I don't care who you love, I'm just happy you're finally becoming more comfortable with yourself." Gerard felt his eyes tearing up again as he reached his hand out to Mikey. Mikey grabbed a hold of Gerard's hand in his...he could feel his hand in his; warm to the touch, his skin was soft...Mikey was real.

"I don't deserve to be with anyone..." Gerard whimpered out softly as tears ran down his face.

"Yes you do, Gee. You deserve to be in love and happy."

"...but...you loved Kristin...you wanted to marry her. I took that chance away from you..."

"No you didn't, Gerard. I died because of the accident...I guess it was my fate."

"No...I killed you...I'm so sorry, Mikey." Mikey squeezed onto his older brother's hand tightly, feeling sad because of how broken Gerard was.

"I love you Gerard, so much...and I know you love me, too. I know you never meant to hurt me...what happened to me wasn't your fault. You need to understand that."

"I wish you were here..."

"Me, too." Gerard squeezed his younger brother's hand as tightly as he could; afraid he'd slip away again at any moment...Gerard didn't want Mikey to go away, again.

"I'm sorry..."

"Gee--you don't have to keep apologizing for something that you didn't do..."

"I just wish I could go back in time and give you my blessing...I should've done that in the first place. If I did--you'd still be alive and you'd be planning your wedding right now..." There was a long moment of silence between them as they gazed into each other's eyes...Gerard kept crying, softly.

"Gerard...Frank likes you. You should give him a chance. I want you to be happy and he seems to make you happy...I want you to fall in love and be with someone."

"Mikey, I'm scared...I never been in love before...I don't know what to do..."

"You'll figure it out. You'll just go with the flow once you make it official." They continued holding hands as they continued talking some more--just like old times.

"You need a haircut." Mikey said as he playfully ruffled Gerard's long and messy hair; messing it up even more. They were both sitting up on Gerard's bed now--their backs pressed against the headboard of the bed.

"I know...just don't care how I look, lately." Gerard responded as he shrugged his shoulders. He ran his hand through his hair before lightly grazing his fingertips over his bruised forehead, wincing while letting out a soft hiss.

"You need to shave, too." Mikey said as he playfully poked Gerard's cheek.

"I'm fully aware, Mikey." They both let out a soft chuckle as Gerard's phone went off, again. Another text message from Frank.

"Gerard, I'm starting to freak out...please call me or text me as soon as you can--I need to know you're alright. Please." Gerard let out a soft sigh as he reread Frank's message over and over...his heart racing as he didn't know whether to respond or to continue ignoring.

"You need to text him back. Frank is clearly worried about you...besides, you owe him after that, uhh...rather rough kiss." Gerard turned his head to look over at Mikey, who had his arms across his chest.

"What...?"

"You heard me. I know you kissed him and you kissed him pretty roughly. You bit his lip...?" Gerard's entire face flushed bright ruby red as his green eyes widened in shock.

"Wait--you saw that!?" Mikey couldn't help but laugh; a full blown and toothy smile spread across his face, and he was laughing.

"I'm always with you Gerard, of course I saw!"

"How fucking embarrassing..." Gerard groaned out as he buried his face in his hands, shaking his head in disbelief.

"Just call him. Frank clearly cares about you...call him." Gerard remained silent as he still had his face buried in his hands--to embarrassed to do anything.

"I don't think I can, Mikey...I don't think I can..." Gerard moved his hands away from his face and Mikey was gone. Vanished once more.

Gerard let out a soft sigh before more tears escaped his eyes and streamed down his cheeks as he let out a soft sniffle.

Moments later, his phone rang and it startled him. Frank's picture appeared on the screen with his name above...Gerard's heart was thumping away loudly now as his breathing grew a little erratic as his eyes stared down at his phone. His stomach felt like it had butterflies fluttering around inside of it again as his hands trembled...Gerard then lifted up his phone and answered.

He brought the phone to his hear shortly after answering and he didn't say a word...Gerard's heart was racing at an even quicker pace now...he could hear his own heartbeat inside of his ears as he slowly closed his eyes.

"Gee...? Are you there?" Frank's voice was soft, sweet, and he sounded legitimately concerned.

"I didn't see you at physical therapy today and when I didn't hear from you, I thought you were mad at me or something...I was worried about you." Gerard kept his eyes shut as he listened to Frank speak on the other end.

"Gerard...please talk to me. Say anything." He was sad to hear Frank begging for him. He hated hearing him sound so sad...Gerard hated it even more knowing that he was the reason why Frank was so sad and so worried.

"Come over." Gerard finally spoke--answering Frank.

"You want me to come over...? Why?"

"We need to talk." Gerard answered softly and firmly as he slowly opened his eyes.

"Yeah, okay. Sure. I'll be there soon, I guess..."

"Okay..." Gerard quickly hung up the phone and he decided to take himself a quick shower and change into a fresh clean pair of clothes. He waited patiently in the living room for Frank...his parents weren't home, so it'd just be him and Frank--all alone. Gerard had no idea what he has planned for them...had no idea what he was going to say to him. About an hour later, there was a knock outside the front door...Gerard wheeled himself over to the door, unlocked it and slowly pulled it open...there was Frank. He had two cups of coffee in his hands and an awkward half-smile across his handsome face...his bottom lip had a small scab resting on it from where Gerard had bit him.

"Hey." Frank greeted him.

"Hi." Gerard greeted him back.

"Brought you a coffee." Frank said as he handed one of the cups over to him. Gerard took the hot cup of coffee out of Frank's tattooed hand; his eyes examining all the different tattoos embedded into his skin...all the details and the colors.

"Thanks..." Gerard said as he wheeled himself back to make room for Frank to make his way inside. Frank closed the door behind him once he made his way inside...they hung out in the living room for a while--drinking their coffee without really speaking...both felt a bit awkward and uncomfortable with one another because there was obvious tension.

"Gee--"

"Frank--" They both chuckled out softly, together. Frank hand gestured for Gerard to go first.

"I'm sorry. I know I apologize a lot and I'm sorry if it doesn't mean anything...but I am sorry for what happened last night."

"Which part are you sorry for exactly...?"

"Everything. Me...I'm sorry for being such a prick to you...I'm sorry for giving you mixed signals...and I'm sorry I bit you when I...kissed you..." Frank blushed to himself as he listened to Gerard's apology.

"It's okay, Gee. No need to apologize."

"But I need to...it isn't right for me to treat you like shit...you're one of the nicest guys I know. You're kind, you're funny, you're handsome...Frank...you're just a great guy."

"You're a great guy too, Gee--"

"No, I'm not...I treat you like shit just because I'm bitter and I'm fucking hateful towards everything...but only because of the accident--because I lost Mikey...I'm sad and I'm angry all the time and...I don't want to be, anymore."

"It takes time. To get over something like that, I mean...trust me, I know what I'm talking about because I was in that dark place too; I was sad and angry all the time...I hated everything and everyone and I was bitter."

"...when does it get better...?"

"That depends. It all depends on how bad the accident was; how bad someone's injuries were...sometimes it takes weeks. Sometimes it takes months. Other times it takes years...hell, sometimes it takes a decade." Frank let out a soft sigh as he placed his coffee down on the coffee table in front of him. He rubbed his eyes as he let out a soft sniffle.

"How long did it take you...?" Gerard asked Frank. Frank looked into Gerard's beautiful peridot colored eyes...Gerard could tell Frank was holding back tears.

"About three years..."

"Jesus...three years...?"

"My accident was bad...my injuries were bad."

"Frank, please tell me what happened...I told you my story."

"I know...I'm just afraid to tell you." Gerard lowered his eyebrows in confusion.

"Why...?" Frank let out another soft sniffle as a single tear fell down his cheek, and he quickly wiped it away.

"Because I'm afraid you won't like me anymore...I'm afraid you'll get freaked out."

"Oh come on, it can't be that bad...just tell me, please?" It was Gerard's turn to beg for Frank, now. They stared at one another for a long moment before Frank stood up from the couch and grabbed the handles from behind Gerard's wheelchair and he pushed him towards his bedroom. He felt he needed to tell him in private, in case his parents came home.

"Frank, you're scaring me..." Frank took a deep breath, exhaling sharply as his fingers fidgeted around...he sat himself down on Gerard's bed and they were facing each other, now.

"This is just as hard for me as it is for you...I haven't told anyone about my accident ever since it happened..."

"What happened to you...? Was it that bad?"

"For me, yes. Everyone treated me differently afterwards; like I was made of glass or something...and everyone looked at me funny."

"Funny how...?" Frank fell silent for a moment as he rubbed his eyes again before taking a deep breath.

"Do you miss Mikey?" Frank suddenly asked Gerard, throwing him off guard.

"...what?"

"Mikey. Do you miss him?"

"...of course I do. Why would you ask me something like that...?"

"Because I miss someone, too."

"...who?"

"My grandpa." Gerard frowned over at Frank, feeling angry because he was changing the subject again and he was trying to make jokes about something that shouldn't be joked about.

"What the fuck is the matter with you, Frank...?" Frank lowered his eyebrows as he opened his mouth but no words came out.

"Do you have to make everything into a joke...? Why won't you tell me about what happened to you? Why did you mention Mikey? And why do you have to make fun of me...?"

"What the fuck are you talking about...?"

"Your grandpa. I'm sure he died of natural causes and I'm sorry but I lost my only brother in a fucking fatal crash--I watched him die, Frank. I was in a coma for over a month and I didn't even get to go to Mikey's funeral...I didn't even get to say goodbye. How dare you compare your grandpa to Mikey...?" It was time for Frank to frown. He let out a loud and long sigh as he hands balled up into fists.

"You don't know what the fuck happened to my grandpa. You don't know shit." Frank spat at Gerard.

"You turn everything into a fucking joke; never take anything seriously!"

"YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT ME!" Frank hollered at Gerard, startling him. Tears fell down Frank's cheeks as he ran his hands through his dark, thick, and slightly shaggy hair.

"When I got hurt, I nearly died. Just like you, Gee. I got hurt and it was bad...I was rushed to the hospital and my parents were in distress--my grandpa, who was like a second dad to me, was even more scared for my life. His heart couldn't handle the fact that his only grandson--his only grandchild might die. He suffered a fucking heart attack while I was in a coma at the hospital and he didn't make it...he died while I was fighting for my life and I didn't go to his funeral, either. I didn't get to say goodbye to him and...it fucking crushed me." Gerard felt like complete shit--the absolute worse. He just assumed and he had no idea and he was speechless.

"Frank...I'm sorry..."

"No, don't fucking say you're sorry...you meant every fucking word of what you said. You wanna know what happened to me...? Fine. I go to pride parade every year--last time I went was three years ago. During my last time at pride, me and some friends went to a gay bar to celebrate and have some more fun. I drank way more than I should've and there was this guy who was clearly homophobic and a complete asshole...he went in the bar to stir up some shit and cause drama. I told him to leave everyone alone and to get the fuck out. He called me a fag and I felt super cocky because I was drunk and I told him 'I am a fag and proud of it--and guess what? I wouldn't fuck you.' He got so embarrassed and all red in the face that he stormed out of the bar. Everyone cheered and called me a hero and I decided to celebrate with more fucking drinks. I was so drunk that I felt sick to my stomach and I had to step out for a moment to puke...as I was stumbling out of the bar and all the way to the end of the sidewalk, I didn't realize I was actually walking to the road...I stopped for one second to puke my guts out and after I did...next thing I knew I got struck by a fucking car. Everything went black and all I can remember was waking up in a hospital." Gerard sat perfectly still in his chair and was very quiet as he listened.

"Apparently I got hit so hard that my body actually rolled on top of the car before rolling off of it and the damn car ran me over...my chest caved in and my lungs collapsed. The left side of my face was busted open--" Frank explained as he grazed his fingertip over his thick eyebrow scar.

"And my leg...my right leg..." Frank stopped talking in mid sentence as he let out a soft scoff.

"Frank...I didn't know. I had no idea..."

"You think you're the only one who's suffering? Who's dealt with pain...? Yeah, I make everything into a joke because that's my way of coping. That's my way of moving on and being fucking happy. You should try it sometime."

"Fuck you."

"I would but you wouldn't be able to feel me inside you." Gerard frowned and let out a low growl as he grabbed his alarm clock from off his nightstand and out of an angry impulse, chucked the rather heavy object over at Frank...it struck him in his right leg, hard. Gerard could even hear the loud 'thud' of the alarm clock hitting Frank's leg.

"...fuck...oh, my God--Frank..." Gerard felt immediate regret and guilt as he wondered if he was alright.

"Did I hurt you...? Fuck, I'm so sorry--"

"No worries Gee, I didn't feel a fucking thing." Frank said as then then grabbed the bottom of right pant sleeve and lifted it up--revealing his injury.

Gerard's eyes were glued to Frank's prosthetic leg...it was made of pure metal and the color of the metal was all black except the clutching part--that was a dark blue shade.

"See this? Made of pure titanium. Strong shit." Frank said as he playfully knocked his knuckles against his fake leg before putting the pant sleeve back down.

Gerard was speechless as he continued staring down at Frank's leg...now knowing his secret. Now knowing his injury.

"Are you afraid of me, now...?" Gerard moved his eyes up to meet Frank's.

"...no...course not." Gerard wasn't lying.

"I was bound to a wheelchair, just like you. Apparently when I got ran over, my leg was so badly damaged that it was literally hanging on by fucking nerves...they tried to save my leg but all the bones shattered into a million pieces and it was just one bloody and disgusting mess...I woke up a couple of months after being in a coma for so long to find that my right leg was gone. It was cut off above my knee. I was so fucking scared that I puked all over myself before sobbing my eyes out. It took my a long while to learn how to walk again..." Gerard was silent as he continued staring down at Frank's leg, know knowing he wore a prosthetic.

"You're giving me that same look everyone else did. You think differently of me now..."

"No, I don't."

"Then quit staring. I'm still me, Gee...not all in one piece, but it's me."

"I know...just...wow..."

"Wow...?"

"I don't know what to say...but I'm not afraid of you."

"...so...if I kissed you, you wouldn't pull away...?" Gerard felt his cheeks burn up as they turned baby pink. Frank then got up from Gerard's bed, got down on his knees to Gerard's level, and grabbed both sides of his face to kiss him.

Gerard didn't pull away as he kissed Frank back...they kissed each other passionately as they slid their tongues inside of each other's mouths...letting out soft moans while running their hands through each other's hair.

Frank pulled away from Gerard for a moment and lifted him up out of his chair, surprising him but he didn't ask any questions as Frank brought him to his bed--laying him down gently before climbing in bed with him. Frank was on top of Gerard now; kissing him hungrily as his hands explored underneath his shirt--touching him gently while making Gerard moan out inside of his mouth.

Gerard's hands began to reach down Frank's jeans; his trembling fingers fumbled around with the button of Frank's jeans as he undid them along with unzipping them...Frank didn't stop kissing Gerard as he even helped him out by pulling down his jeans along with his boxers low enough...Gerard wrapped his hand around Frank's half-hard dick and began to stroke it at a slow and steady pace, making Frank gasp out inside of Gerard's mouth as he felt himself growing more and more aroused from Gerard's touch.


	12. Confession

They laid there together on Gerard's bed without saying a word...Gerard gave Frank a hand job for the first time; he'd never done anything like that to anyone. Ever. It was a whole new feeling for him and he so badly wished he could do so much more with Frank.

"You okay...?" Frank asked Gerard as he held him close against him--Gerard had his head resting down against Frank's chest..he could hear his heartbeat clearly and it was very soothing.

"Yeah, I'm okay...are you...?"

"Absolutely." Gerard could tell by Frank's response that he was smiling. They continued laying together in complete silence as they snuggled.

"You never gave a hand job before...?" Frank asked Gerard, breaking the silence. Gerard felt himself blushing as he bit down on his bottom lip, feeling embarrassed.

"...no. Never." Frank let out a small and soft chuckle--Gerard could feel his laughter against the side of his head.

"What...?" Gerard asked as he lifted his head up to gaze up at Frank.

"You could've fooled me."

"...is that good...?" Frank laughed again, a little more louder and more heartfelt.

"Yes, Gee. That's a compliment." Gerard blushed even redder than before, not quite sure how to feel about it. For the first time ever though...he felt calm. He felt at ease.

"Was it scary when you woke up and saw that your leg was gone...?"

"Yes. I was terrified..." Gerard's eyes stared down at Frank's right leg again...feeling completely shocked still that he had no idea, before. Frank hid it well and he would've never guessed about his prosthetic.

"I'm sorry...I know you're tired of hearing me apologize--but...I really am. I had no idea about your grandpa, either. I'm so sorry you lost him..." Frank pulled Gerard closer against him; wrapping both slightly toned and tattooed arms around him--practically squeezing onto him while placing a kiss down against Gerard's bruised forehead.

"We both got hurt. We both lost someone we love...but at least we found each other." As cheesy as it sounded it was very true...though Gerard wishes that things were different, he was happy to have met Frank. If anything he just wished they met under better circumstances.

Gerard continued listening to Frank's gentle and steady heartbeat; it was like music to his ears...he could feel himself falling asleep in his arms.

"...so what does this make us, now...?"

"Hmm?" Gerard's eyes were closed now as he felt himself falling into a deep slumber. Frank brought his hand to Gerard's stubbled chin, cupping it gently as he lifted his head up to have him face him.

"I like you. A lot. And...I think you like me too; we kissed and you touched me...so...what does this make us?"

"I don't know..." Gerard responded softly as he avoided eye contact with him.

"How do you feel about me, Gerard...?"

"How do you feel about me...?" Gerard turned Frank's question against him; putting him in the spotlight, now.

Frank sat himself up along with Gerard and he leaned forward to kiss his lips again, ever so softly. They kissed each other sweetly and tenderly...Frank even moved Gerard's long and dark hair behind his ear while kissing him.

"Gee...you're different from every guy I've ever been with. Whether it was serious or not...you're one of a kind. Sometimes you can be downright mean, but that's only because you're going through so much...that's why I try not to let it bother me. I find myself thinking about you constantly; wondering what you're doing, what you're thinking...you're beautiful, Gee. You're beautiful, you're actually pretty nice when you wanna be...you're just amazing." Gerard could feel his throat become dry as he swallowed his own saliva so hard he could hear his own gulp inside of his ears. He continued avoiding eye contact with Frank as he felt his heart racing inside of his chest and his eyes tear up.

"Gee, look at me." Frank said as he cupped his chin again--slowly lifting his head up so that their eyes connected.

"You make me feel alive. You make me feel happy and you give me butterflies in my stomach...Gerard, I'm starting to fall for you." Gerard's eyes widened as he heard Frank's heartfelt confession. He was speechless and his mouth even dropped open a bit...that's when his vision blurred with more tears that were overflowing inside of them.

"...what did you say...?" Was all Gerard was able to mumble out, but Frank was able to understand him.

"I said I'm falling for you." He responded as he pointed his finger at the tip of Gerard's pixie shaped nose.

"...um...are you serious...?" Frank raised an eyebrow as he let out a giggle.

"Um, yeah. Of course I'm serious."

"...why?"

"Because you grew on me. Because you ignited a fire in here--" Frank then grabbed a hold of the older peridot eyed man's hand and brought it over to his chest--gently pressing it down on his heart. Gerard could feel Frank's heartbeat in the palm of his hand.

"I know that sounds stupid, but it's true. You brought me to life. You make me smile and laugh...you're the first thing on my mind every morning and the last thought before I go to sleep. I even dream of you."

"You do...? What do you dream about...?"

"I dream about being with you. I dream of your face; your beautiful green eyes, your cute little nose, how your lips curl into that smile I've grown to love so much...I dream of kissing you and holding you. I even dream of touching you..." Gerard could feel his face burn up as the blush spread from his cheeks to his nose now--turning it ruby red, completely.

"I just want to be with you, Gee. I want to be more than just a friend...but, I need to know how you feel about me." Silence lingered in his bedroom as he was at a loss for words. Gerard had never been in love before and he was still completely shocked that Frank pretty much poured his heart out to him...he knew he had to say something, but his brain could think of anything to say.

"Please say something, you're starting to worry me..." Frank broke the silence with his low and clear voice--his tone was firm but still sweet...he was clearly anxious and he tried hiding it with a half-smile and an awkward chuckle.

"...Frank, I..." Gerard mumbled out softly, only to fall quiet, again.

"You what...?"

"...I've never been in love, before."

"Neither have I, Gee. You're the very first guy I ever felt something for..."

"Yeah, right..." Frank raised his eyebrows while letting out a soft snort.

"Every guy I've ever been with was either a fling or a one night stand. I actually want to be in a real relationship with you--I want more than just sex...I mean, obviously we haven't yet but I'd eventually want to. But...I just want to be with you." Gerard felt his hands tremble; his heart practically thumping away inside of his chest--feeling like it would either stop at any moment or burst out...he felt his eyes tear up as he sat there, staring directly at Frank.

"I'm in love with you, Gee. Simple as that...I want to be more than just your friend. But...if you're not ready for that, just let me be in your life. Let me love you in my own way." Gerard then let out a soft sigh as he sniffled softly...the tears forming inside of his eyes spilled down his cheeks. Frank wiped them away with his thumb as he leaned forward to kiss his bruised forehead, once more.

The older and green eyed man began to cry softly as he let out more sniffles...Frank embraced him by wrapping both arms around him and pulling him in for a hug. Gerard cried in Frank's arms for a while--they held onto one another tightly as he had his face buried in the younger, tattooed, and hazel eyed man's neck.

"You don't have to be with me if you don't want to--I just want to love you. You need love...lots of it..I want to give that to you." Gerard let out a soft whimper as he clung onto Frank's shirt; gripping and tugging on it lightly as he continued crying softly.

"I do love you you, Frank..." Gerard finally responded softly, feeling his heart beat even harder and faster inside of his chest.

"What...?" Frank heard him mumble, but Gerard spoke so softly and his voice was inaudible so he couldn't quite make out what he said.

Gerard slowly pulled away from Frank's arms and they made direct eye contact, again.

"Frank, I'm in love with you too..." His eyes lit up and the corners of his mouth twisted into a small smile.

"You are...?" Gerard sniffled softly, wiping away his own tears as he slowly nodded his head in response.

"Yes...I didn't want to admit it before because, like I said, I've never been in love before...and I was just scared."

"Scared of what...?"

"Scared of giving my love to the wrong person--getting hurt...falling deeper in love and losing you..." He wouldn't mention it, but the main reason why Gerard was so afraid of getting into a relationship with Frank was mainly because he was scared that he'd lose him the same way Kristin lost Mikey...how Gerard couldn't be happy for his brother about wanting to marry the girl of his dreams. The love of his life. He felt he didn't deserve to be with Frank.

"I won't hurt you, Gerard...I'm not the wrong guy--I want to be with you so badly and I'm scared too, but I'm willing to take a chance with you." Gerard smiled a small half-smile at Frank before he leaned his face forward to kiss his lips, softly.

They kissed each other tenderly and Gerard wrapped both of his arms around Frank's tattooed neck, deepening the kiss as he ran his fingers through his dark and slightly shaggy hair. He felt like he was floating.

They stopped kissing for a moment to catch their breaths; both breathing hard and heavily as their foreheads rested against one another's.

"So...does this mean you're my boyfriend, now...?" Frank asked, making Gerard giggle softly as his cheeks flushed pink--his smile grew wider and he showed off his teeth, which made Frank smile.

"As long as you want me to be yours, then yes."

"Duh. Of course I want to be your boyfriend." And just like that, they made it official. They snuggled together for a little while longer on Gerard's bed before they could hear some light commotion coming from the living room--which meant his parents were home.

Frank helped Gerard into his chair before fixing himself up, and they both made their way out of his bedroom...Frank pushed Gerard into the kitchen, where they could hear Gerard's parents talking.

"Mom...? Dad?" Gerard called out to them softly once both him and Frank made their way in.

"Hey sweetie--oh, hi there! How are you, Frank?" Donna greeted both of them as she waved her hand over at Frank.

"I didn't know Gerard had a visitor, hello Frank." Don smiled over at Frank while waving his hand over at him.

"I invited him over way earlier. We just...hung out. In my room..." Gerard bit down on his bottom lip as he thought about what they did earlier in his room, on his bed in particular...he was pretty sure his parents could tell he was blushing.

"That's nice, sweetie. I'm glad you had a friend over to keep you company...your dad and I were paying a visit to Mikey, today."

"Oh..." Was all Gerard could say, not wanting to feel sad about Mikey, again. He already felt guilty for not visiting his grave.

"Your dad and I are about to make dinner--Frank, would you like to join us?" Gerard looked up at his now new boyfriend with a curious look on his face as he waited for him to respond.

"Oh, that's okay--I don't want to intrude on your family dinner..."

"I want you to stay." Gerard said, smiling up at Frank.

"Nonsense Frank, you're more than welcome to stay over for dinner with us. You're more than welcome to come over whenever you'd like--you're our son's friend, so we're happy to have you around."

"Well, then I guess I'll stay." Frank said as he smiled and shrugged his shoulders. They all say together at the dining table once dinner was ready; fried fish with white rice and some vegetables. Frank sat next to Gerard and they occasionally looked over at one another--smiling, chuckling, and even making silly faces at each other.

"So Frank, where are you from?" Don asked him, catching Frank's attention, now.

"Here--New Jersey. Born and raised."

"Have you any brothers or sisters?"

"No sir, I'm an only child."

"You and Gerard met in physical therapy?"

"That's right, Mrs. Way--"

"Oh please, call me Donna."

"That's right, Donna." She smiled over at Frank as he playfully poked at the vegetables.

"Do you not like the food, Frank...?"

"Oh no, I do--just thinking." Gerard shot another glance over at Frank, who gazed back at him and he nearly choked on his food because he knew what was on Frank's mind.

"Is there something I'm missing...?" Don asked as he noticed the two of them were acting rather strange.

That's when Gerard decided to tell his folks about his secret...with Frank by his side, he felt courageous. At the same time, he was completely anxious.

"Mom, dad...there's something I need to tell you--"

"Gee, are you sure...?" Frank whispered over at him, wanting to make sure that he was ready to come out to his parents. Gerard nodded his head in response as he took a deep breath...Frank grabbed a hold of his hand for comfort.

"Sweetie, is Frank your boyfriend?" Donna asked quite bluntly, and Gerard froze as he squeezed onto Frank's hand in his.

"...uh...yes--he is, actually. I was going to tell you both that I'm...well, I'm gay..." His heart was racing like crazy inside of his chest now; he could hear his own heartbeat inside of his ears as he squeezed onto Frank's hand even tighter, now.

"Ohh, we know hon--your dad and I always knew." Donna said as she turned to look over at her husband, who was looking back at her. They grabbed onto each other's hands as they exchanged smiles.

"...wait, you knew...? How...?"

"Gerard, we just knew. We figured it out once your relationships with the girls you've been with in the past didn't last very long and you always avoided the questions about finding the right girl to marry and have kids...it all came together."

"...you're not upset...?"

"Son, why would we be upset?"

"Well...because I'm gay. I know you and mom wanted me to marry a beautiful and sweet girl and to give you grandchildren...I tried being with girls; I tried liking them...but, I found myself feeling more attracted by men as I grew older. I was too afraid to say anything...and when Mikey started dating Kristin and she was coming around more, you guys kinda made me feel pressured about dating and whatnot. That's why I never said anything..." He didn't realize he was rambling on and he fell completely silent as he waited for his mom or dad to say something.

"Gerard, honey, we're so sorry we made you feel pressured...we had a feeling you were into men, but we thought you weren't fully sure of yourself and...well...we wanted you to tell us when you were ready." Frank lightly grazed his thumb against Gerard's skin on hand.

"Well...I'm ready."

"You're our son and we just want you to be happy. If you're attracted to men, that's fine. We just want you to be comfortable with yourself in every way...we won't love you any less for loving a man." Gerard could feel his eyes tear up again as he felt completely overwhelmed with how accepting and understanding they were being...he felt it was too good to be true.

"How long has this been going on?"

"What...?"

"You and Frank." Gerard looked over at Frank again, who was smiling over at him.

"A while...we made our relationship official, today." Both his parents smiled at their son and continued eating their dinner.

"...that's it?" Gerard asked, still feeling completely shocked.

"We have one son who is into men, whereas the other was into women. It doesn't matter to us at all. Frank--you take care of Gerard." Donna said as she made direct eye contact with Frank.

"That's the plan, Donna." Frank responded, smiling at her as he continued holding his boyfriend's hand in his.

"You're so sweet Frank and you're incredibly handsome. Our son has good taste."

"Mom..." Gerard blushed in embarrassment as he held his head down.

"You two are cute together, and I'm happy. We both are." Both Donna and Donald smiled at the happy news of their son finally being comfortable and truthful to himself.

"I'm happy too, mom and dad. Really." Frank then leaned forward and placed a sweet little kiss against Gerard's cheek, making him smile while blushing even brighter than before.

From the corner of Gerard's eye, he could see Mikey leaning against the wall with his arms across his chest and he had a small grin across his face. He had to pretend he didn't see him, but Mikey was there...he was smiling for his older brother and was very happy for him. A single tear ran down Gerard's cheek as he sniffled softly...he gazed over at Frank once more, still holding his hand.

"Are you okay?" Frank asked his boyfriend, and Gerard just nodded his head as he wiped away his own tear.

"Never better, Frankie." He responded before kissing him once more, making his parents smile with joy. Even Mikey's small grin grew into a full and toothy smile.


	13. Touch

It got a little easier for Gerard, but he’d never forget Mikey. He was most certain he’d never forgive himself, either. But things were more tolerable now that he had Frank...Gerard was the happiest he’d been in a long time. He and Frank were together; a couple in love, so happy, and inseparable.

Gerard was still attending physical therapy—Frank was his personal mentor and physical therapy attendant; helping him throughout each exercise, each session...he was making so much progress. They took things slow since they became official; going for long drives together, watching TV shows and movies at Gerard’s mom and dad’s house...Frank has invited him over to his place several times, but Gerard rejected. He wasn’t ready...part of him still fought with himself because he still believed he didn’t deserve to be happy. Gerard wouldn’t admit it; especially to Frank, but he was scared of their relationship...simply because it seemed so perfect. He was afraid to ruin it or get his heart broken. 

His favorite thing to do with Frank though was stargaze at Frank’s secret spot—it was their spot, now. They’ve been going every night, every week, since they started dating.

“Are you okay?” Gerard was breathing in through his nose and out his mouth as his sweaty palms squeezed onto the metal, parallel bars...his heart was pounding hard inside of his chest as he felt that familiar burning and tingling sensation in his legs. But he didn’t mind the feeling—for Gerard, the pain was a good sign because it meant some feeling was slowly coming back into them.

“You need a break, Gee?” Gerard broke focus for a brief moment as he made direct eye contact with his baby-faced, hazel eyed boyfriend. Frank patiently waited for his response as he kept close to him in case Gerard slipped, fell, or needed a break.

“I’m fine—my legs just kinda hurt...” 

“Your legs hurt...?” Frank questioned him, raising an eyebrow as the corners of his mouth began to slowly curl into that smirk Gerard grew to love.

“Yeah—but it’s good. Pain is good.” Inhaling deeply, Gerard could feel his legs wobbling; his knees shaking before he managed to pull his right leg forward, his left leg following shortly afterwards. The pain grew more intense in his legs and he let out a loud groan while biting down on his bottom lip—his face turning bright rouge as he felt his legs tingling; like they were awakening from a long sleep.

“That was so good Gee, you did so great.” Frank praised his boyfriend, his smirk growing into a full smile—making his face light up with joy. Gerard appreciated Frank’s support and praises without bringing attention from everyone else...he smiled back at him before leaning his face forward to kiss his lips.

“You got sweat on me.” Frank chuckled out softly, smiling his toothy smile, now.

“Sorry...” Gerard mumbled under his breath, feeling slightly embarrassed. Frank leaned his face forward and kissed Gerard’s lips, again.

“I don’t care—doesn’t bother me. As long as I’m kissing you.” Gerard was still smiling over at Frank, but winced at the burning and tingling pain in his legs and that was enough for Frank to take his hint and grab a hold of him, slowly and gently sitting him down against the soft walking mat below them.

“Sorry...my legs just really ache...” Gerard apologized as he rubbed both his legs, trying to soothe them as they lightly pulsed.

“Here, let me. Just drink some water and catch your breath.” Frank grabbed his water bottle that rested inside the small pouch in his duffle bag, handed it to Gerard, and proceeded by lightly massaging his boyfriend’s legs with both tattooed hands.

Gerard practically emptied Frank’s water bottle as he drank it quickly; feeling the cool and heavenly sensation run down his dry throat...it was soothing, alongside Frank rubbing his legs to try and soothe them.

“Mmm...thanks...” Gerard breathed out softly as he panted lightly for air...several droplets of water dripped off his soaked and stubbly chin. Frank lifted his head up for a brief moment, smiled over at him; his smile was small and he didn’t show off any teeth, but it was still perfect...it still made Gerard’s heart beat erratically every time he saw his smile.

Massaging up and down, all around—Frank lightly squeezed Gerard’s leg muscles as he tried to comfort him...wishing he could take away all of his pain and replace with nothing but happiness, love, warmth—all the good emotions and feelings.

“That feels nice...” Gerard sighed out softly as his legs fell completely numb again—no longer burning or throbbing...Frank’s hands were like magic and he could actually somewhat feel him touching him...squeezing his legs while applying more pressure to relieve the slight pain...Gerard just wished his legs wouldn’t switch from feeling nothing at all to feeling discomfort, even if it was for a moment. He wanted the feeling in his legs to come back.

“Are you okay...? I’m not hurting you or anything, am I?” Gerard’s lips curled into a small grin as he slowly closed his eyes, leaned his head back, and shook his head no—enjoying the massage just a little bit longer.

“What?”

“Hmm...?” Gerard responded with his eyes still closed.

“You’re smiling. What for?”

“Cause you’re adorable—all concerned for me. It’s sweet.” Frank playfully smacked Gerard’s arm, making him open his eyes and look over at him—letting out a soft, heartfelt giggle as his cheeks flushed bright ruby red.

“I’m always concerned about you, dork. I’m not that heartless...” Frank replied while pouting, making Gerard’s giggle grow into a full, gut wrenching laugh. Frank’s pout immediately changed into a wide, toothy, smile and he started laughing alongside his boyfriend.

“You? Heartless? Never.” Gerard said with a sarcastic tone while playfully rolling his eyes, and Frank playfully nudged at him while still smiling.

“I see my sarcasm is rubbing off on you.”

“Oh please, I’m fluent in it.” Frank stuck his tongue out at him, Gerard followed the same action shortly after and they continued laughing before they both realized they were somewhat slacking.

“Do you think you can go again...? Session is almost over.” Gerard was feeling rather confident in himself, especially with Frank by his side, and he replied with a head nod. Frank helped Gerard back up on his dead feet, since he couldn’t feel anything, but he gripped onto the parallel bars once again as he did inhaled a deep breath—holding it as he tried applying more pressure on his jello legs.

“You good?”

“I always hate this feeling—my lower body dragging me down, hurts like hell...” Frank placed both his tattooed hands down on top of Gerard’s; lightly squeezing them as he leaned forward to place a small kiss against his dampened forehead, making him smile before gathering himself for preparation. His mind completely cleared now...squeezing down on the bars with his already dampened hands, Gerard’s eyes shifted over to his boyfriend—giving him the familiar head nod gesture that was his way of saying he was ready.

Frank nodded his head back in response as he took a few small steps back while placing his hands down on the bar as well, never taking his large, bright, hazel eyes off of him...Gerard’s pale and sweaty face reddened as he put all of his strength on his legs, hoping to wake them up and get them working—even if it was for a brief moment...he needed to assure himself that he could do it; like a light switch flipping on and off.

His upper weight held all of him up straightly as he patiently waited for something to happen...Frank waited patiently for Gerard, still gazing over at him. His heart was racing when nothing happened for the short matter of seconds that had passed and was worried that Gerard would lose his temper.

Then it happened...after taking another deep breath as he gripped onto the parallel bars once more—Gerard took one, huge step.

His legs felt like they were pulsing with energy; the nerves and muscles in both his legs felt like they were vibrating and had that familiar burning, stinging, and aching building up in them—spreading all throughout his legs...feeling them. Actually feltthe ground below his feet. Gerard proceeded by dragging his right foot across the walking mat, taking another step—then his left foot followed the same action. Frank’s lips curled into a huge, wide smile as he watched his beautiful boyfriend slowly and carefully made his way to him...that moment was amazing for the both of them. That moment was the very first time Gerard managed to take several steps passed what his average is, which was usually around two to three steps. At least. 

“Gerard—Gee!” Frank exclaimed with an excited and overjoyed tone as he continued smiling. Gerard didn’t hesitate to let go of the bars and throw his arms around Frank’s tattooed neck and practically fell into his warm embrace. Frank was so proud of Gerard that he was practically in tears as he squeezed him with a tight and loving hug; kissing the top of Gerard’s head while patting his back.

“...I walked...Frankie, I walked towards you...” Gerard was just as shocked from what happened. He was completely overwhelmed with all sorts of different emotions; most of them were good feelings...he was so amazed with himself that he didn’t know how to react other than to just freeze and go completely speechless.

“I knew you’d be able to! You’re getting so much better each time—Gee, baby, I’m fucking proud of you!” They continued squeezing onto one another; Frank held Gerard so tightly that he wouldn’t have to worry about him slipping out of his arms. Frank held him so close against his body—despite the fact Gerard was a bit taller than him, he held him close against his body...they could feel one another’s heartbeats through their chests.

~

Gerard lied down flat on his back against the soft and comfortable cushioning of his bed while Frank lied down beside him, kissing each other sweetly and tenderly as their hands gently touched; gently grazed; gently feeling each other...Frank held Gerard’s body close against his as they both lied on their sides and continued kissing.

Frank gently ran his tattooed fingers through Gerard’s long, soft, smooth, walnut brown hair—occasionally tugging on it, lightly. Gerard moaned out softly into Frank’s mouth; occasionally slipping his tongue inside...his hands were all over his boyfriend. From his short, shaggy, soft, mink colored hair to the sides of his face, down on his tattooed neck, his chest...Gerard’s heart was racing as he let his hands lower even more down Frank’s chest, to his stomach, getting lower towards his crotch.

He touched him for a moment; rubbing the center of his pants up and down, and in a circular motion before he felt Frank tense up, grab a hold of Gerard’s hand, and pulling away from their kiss.

“Frank, what’s wrong...?” Gerard asked him in between soft breaths. Frank’s cheeks were flushed light pink as he licked his lips and let out a soft chuckle.

“Nothing...nothing at all.”

“Why’d you stop me, then?”

“Cause I thought we were taking things slow...?”

“That didn’t stop you the first time I gave you a handjob out of the blue...” His cheeks darkened and he let out a loud laugh while smiling a wide, toothy smile.

“We were both caught up in the heat of the moment—don’t get me wrong Gee, I loved it. I love you. But, we don’t need to rush into doing sexual things together...not just yet, anyways. I’m happy to just be lying in bed with you, making out and eventually cuddling.” Gerard wanted to get mad, wanted to pout...instead, he felt embarrassed for trying to make a move. He felt like he got rejected and he suddenly lost the feeling as he turned himself flat on his back.

“Aw Gee...you’re not mad at me, are you...?”

“...no...just...I don’t know...” His eyes staring up at the ceiling above him in his old bedroom, feeling on the verge of crying. Frank scooted himself closer towards his boyfriend, wrapping an arm around him as he snuggled up against him, placing a kiss against his stubby, warm cheek before resting his head down against his chest.

“...sorry...” Gerard mumbled softly as his vision blurred up with his own tears that were forming inside of his eyes. Frank softly shushed him, placing more sweet, comforting, and loving kisses against Gerard’s cheek...Gerard sniffled softly as he tried to hold back his tears but was having trouble doing so as tears spilled out of his eyes. 

“Please don’t cry, Gerard...” 

“I’m s-sorry—just...I feel stupid...and embarrassed...”

“Why...? And don’t call yourself stupid. You’re not stupid.” Frank lightly stroked Gerard’s hair with his fingertips; gently twirling his long, dark strands around before moving his hair behind his ear.

“Look at me, Gee.” He shook his head no as more tears escaped out of his eyes and spilled down the sides of his face.

“Please...?” Frank pleaded with him as he pressed his forehead against his boyfriend’s while gently caressing his stubbled cheek. Gerard sniffled softly as his puffy, red, irritated, and tear filled eyes shifted up at Frank.

“There you are. Now I can see your beautiful eyes.” Gerard sniffled softly again as he blinked softly—tears escaping his eyes as they ran down the sides of his face.

“I...I just wanted to touch you...I wasn’t expecting you to stop me. I feel embarrassed...” 

“Don’t be, Gee...I want you too, I do. But...I want to touch you, too. I want to pleasure you...I don’t wanna have all the fun.” Gerard let out a soft chuckle as a small smile formed on his face, making Frank laugh alongside him.

“Made you smile.”

“Shut up.”

“I did. You owe me a kiss.”

“No.” Frank raised an eyebrow over at him while grinning a mischievous grin.

“Oh, really?” Frank said as he sat himself up on his elbow. Gerard’s cheeks remained red as he bit down on his bottom lip—holding back his own laughter while still smiling. He slowly nodded his head yes.

“Guess I’m gonna have to force you to kiss me.” Frank then began to tickle Gerard, making him smile and laugh as his upper body began to twitch and move around—his laughter filling up his room while Frank climbed on top of Gerard and continued tickling him.

“Frank—quit it!” Gerard panted in between breaths as he continued laughing; his entire face was red as tears formed inside of his eyes...this time they were tears of joy.

“Not until you kiss me.” He replied as he continued tickling him—pinning him down flat against his back on his bed.

“Frankie!” Gerard called out his name as he continued to giggle and smile the biggest smile Frank had ever seen him smile, making him do the same thing.

“Kiss me and I’ll stop.”

“Okay, okay! Fine!” Gerard finally caved in. Frank stopped tickling him as he leaned forward and pressed his lips against Gerard’s again. 

He kissed him lovingly and tenderly as Gerard attempted to try and change Frank’s mind...Gerard thought it was sweet that his boyfriend wanted to please him too, but what pleasured him at the moment was making Frank feel good. Gerard kept his spirits high even though he couldn’t get aroused because he was completely paralyzed from the waist down by thinking about Frank. Thinking about how he could feel things below his waist.

Gerard wrapped both his arms around Frank’s tattooed neck as he softly moaned inside of his mouth—running his fingers through Frank’s hair; lightly pulling on it, making Frank groan out softly inside of his mouth...sending tingling vibrations down his throat and belly, making it feel like he had butterflies fluttering around inside of it, again.

“You’re so bad...” Frank managed to breathe in between kisses, knowing what Gerard was trying to do.

“Please, just let me pleasure you...I know you’ll make it up to me...please...?” Gerard pleaded with Frank as he stared up at him with the sweetest, innocent, and brightest green eyes he’s ever given him. He looked like a puppy dog.

“You’re lucky I can’t say no to you...so lucky.” Frank smirked down at him as he pressed his lips against Gerard’s again. He was already hard inside of his pants; his hard shaft already aching and throbbing—letting out soft groans of both pleasure and discomfort as Gerard managed to sit himself up on his elbows while still kissing Frank.

Both of his hands reached over for his jeans; unbuckling Frank’s belt first before unbuttoning and unzipping them, rubbing his hand against his erection poking through the fabric of his boxers. Gerard pulled away from their heated, open mouthed kiss.

“Lie down beside me, down on your side...” Frank responded by nodding his head and climbing off of Gerard as he did as he was told. He lied himself down on his side beside Gerard...Gerard made sure Frank was comfortable before helping him lower his boxers along with his pants low enough to free himself...Gerard’s eyes averted down to look at it before touching it.

Frank was average in length; not too small, not too big...he was circumcised and his girth was thicker than average. It was nice looking. Gerard then wrapped his hand around Frank’s hard dick, making him tense up at his touch as he let out a soft moan while pressing the back of his head against the soft, cool pillow underneath it.

Gerard gently grazed his thumb across the tip—already glistened with Frank’s precum as he began to slowly pump his hand up and down his cock.

“...shit...oh, fuck...” Frank breathed out softly as his eyes rolled in the back of his head before closing—letting the pleasurable and ecstatic feeling take over his body. Gerard continued staring at Frank’s dick as he stroked it...listening to the soft, little sounds that came out of his mouth...his heart was racing rapidly inside of his chest as he focused on his breathing. 

His forehead was dampened with sweat as he quickened his pace around his boyfriend’s cock; stroking it at a normal normal pace now...Frank let out more throaty moans and soft curse words as he gripped onto Gerard’s shirt—tugging and pulling at it.

“...Gerard...oh, my God...fuck...” Frank’s voice was raspy and soft, and his tone was breathy. Hearing him call out his name made the fluttering in Gerard’s stomach grow more intense as he began to breathe hard; his chest moving in and out as his eyes moved up to Frank’s face so he could watch his facial expressions while touching him.

“That feels so fucking good, Gerard...so good...” Frank moaned out as his eyes remained closed and his mouth hung open—occasionally licking his lips while biting down on his bottom lip.

Unaware of what was going on with himself, Gerard began to feel a warm and tingling sensation from his belly down to his groin area. His face was burning up and long, dark stands of his hair began to stick on both his forehead and the sides of his sweaty face as he continued pleasuring his boyfriend.

His whole body felt like it was on vibrate now as he quickened up the pace and pumped his hand up and down Frank’s hard cock—getting more sounds out of his mouth that caused Frank to bury his face in Gerard’s pillow. Gerard loving seeing Frank like that...vulnerable, aroused, horny...just desperate for touch and pleasure. It made Gerard’s heart pound inside of his chest so loudly that he could hear his own heartbeat inside of his ears as his groin area continued to ache and tingle...it almost felt like he was excited even though he was sure he wasn’t. 

Frank wished he could touch Gerard too—he deserved so badly to be touched the same way he was touching him...Frank’s eyes opened and he stared at Gerard’s beautiful face while he was getting a hand job for the second time. They kissed each other again—open mouthed, with tongue, and passionately as Frank began to touch Gerard.

His tattooed hand ran down his neck, down to his chest, then to his stomach...he pulled away from the kiss when he touched Gerard’s crotch—feeling his aroused dick poking through his pants.

“What...?” Gerard said as he noticed Frank’s hazel eyes were widened with shock. Without saying a word, Frank just kissed him again as he began to rub the venter of Gerard’s pants...touching his erection, making him gasp softly at the feeling...Gerard was just as shocked but didn’t say anything as he continued rubbing out Frank.

Frank slid his hand inside of Gerard’s sweatpants and boxers; grabbing a hold of his half hard dick with his hand...Gerard let out a soft and breathy moan as his eyes closed—pressing his forehead against Frank’s as he continued pleasuring him.

“...you’re aroused...” Frank said as he began to move his hand up and down Gerard’s shaft, which grew harder as Frank stroked it.

“...no, I can’t be—“

“Can you feel me doing this...?” Frank asked him as he continued touching Gerard. Gerard let out another soft moan as he felt himself throbbing in Frank’s grip. He nodded his head in response.

“Just relax...let me...” Frank pleaded with him, stopping for a moment until Gerard gave him the okay to continue. Gerard nodded his head again and Frank smirked over at him as he began to pump his tattooed hand up and down Gerard’s rock hard dick, Gerard continued doing the same to Frank.

His bedroom was filled with loud breathing and soft moans and occasional swear words as they touched one another; pleased one another...Gerard couldn’t believe he could actually feel Frank pleasuring him. He couldn’t believe he actually got aroused.

“...Frankie, I’m gonna cum...” Gerard whimpered out, now wanting this moment between them to end so soon.

“Me too, Gee...fuck, I’m cumming, too...” Frank moaned out as he stroked off Gerard before releasing himself in Gerard’s grip. 

“MmmFrank—“ Gerard moaned out while slurring Frank’s name as he came afterwards in his hand.

His body still felt like it was vibrating though all feeling was leaving his lower half—numbing back up...Gerard panted for a breath of air as a trickle of sweat ran down his face. Frank had beads of sweat running down his reddened face as they dripped off his chin...their sweaty foreheads still pressed against one another’s.

“...wow...” Was all Gerard said, making Frank chuckle softly as he too panted for air; his chest heaving up and down at a rapid pace.

“You could say that, again...”

“Wow...” Gerard repeated himself, laughing alongside Frank. His vision was slightly blurry and his head felt heavy.

“You okay...?” Frank asked him with a soft spoken and sweet tone. Gerard nodded his head in response as he began to feel sleepy. Frank cleaned himself up along with Gerard before pulling his jeans and boxers back on—adjusting himself before getting comfortable next to Gerard again, who was already dozing off to slumber.

Frank smiled down at him as he leaned forward to kiss his cheek. He laid himself down next to him and Gerard scooted closer towards him...wrapping an arm over his waist while resting his head down against Frank’s chest, listening to his heartbeat beating at a normal and steady pace.

“You’re lucky I love you so much.”

“...mmmhmm...” Gerard replied softly and sleepily.

“Worn out there, sleeping beauty?”

“...mmmhmm...” Gerard replied again as sleep overtook him, completely. Frank smiled down at his beautiful boyfriend again before leaning forward to place another kiss on the top of Gerard’s head, holding him close and tightly before dozing off with him.

It all seemed to good to be true; like an amazing dream you never wanted to wake from...Gerard didn’t even know if it was real or not—what happened between them. But what he did know was that he felt good...probably the best he’s ever felt in years. He just hoped Mikey wasn’t around to witness any of that...he smiled a sleepy and small smile to himself at the thought of it. 

Mikey didn’t appear during since he took the hint after Frank and Gerard went into Gerard’s old bedroom to be alone after coming home from physical therapy. 

He arrived afterwards to find his older brother sleeping peacefully with the man he loves...Mikey watched them sleep and smiled to himself. He was happy for Gerard. He slept without the painkillers...and Gerard didn’t have terrible nightmares as he slept in Frank’s arms. Frank held him tightly...he wouldn’t let him go.


End file.
